Hello. Been a while hasn’t it?
It’s been *checks calendar* 37(!) days since I’ve published a blog. What can I say that I haven’t already said before? I feel like we’re in a relationship where I keep fucking up, I keep giving you promises that I’ll be better, we make up, you welcome me back, and then I fuck up again just for the cycle to repeat itself. All I can say is that I’m glad you’re welcoming me back again, and guess what, I’m gonna give you more empty promises of getting back on track with these blogs. Writing these things and having to juggle everything else in my life is much harder when I have schoolwork to do and jobs to find than it is during the summer when I’ve got fuck all to do. Who would have thought?
Now that that’s out of the way we can get onto some serious recaps.
So what has happened in the past 37 days that I feel like I need to recap you guys on?
First off I have to touch on probably the best day I’ve ever had at Wake Forest.
Before I tell this story though, I need to make this abundantly clear: I understand March Madness just started. I understand Wake is not in March Madness. The story I’m about to tell you occurred at a time when vibes were as high as I’ve ever seen them with our basketball program and everything was right in the world. In other words, a time before we lost easy games to Georgia Tech and Notre Dame to tank our season.
I’ll try to make this quick cause there’s a lot to recap.
So I woke up at 8:30 cause I couldn’t sleep. The night before we had had a classy cocktail night as a brotherhood which meant that most people proceeded to get heinously drunk by drinking Moscow mules, Irish car bombs, and Whiskey highballs instead of Busch Light. Anyway, I was up at 8:30 cause I had to go to Food Lion to buy hot dogs and buy a keg. Except I didn’t want to go alone because, to the uninitiated, full kegs are quite heavy, so I needed help. Only problem was, the guy who was supposed to help me was still drunk from the night before and didn’t have his phone. Oh yeah, and his phone was dead so he had no clue where it was. Somehow, I managed to find Gavin (sorry to expose you my man) wandering around in Freshmanland (south campus) and convinced him to come help me get the stuff. How I managed to find him, I have no idea, but I’d imagine it’s how you’d manage to find someone in the olden days i.e. the days before mobile phones: pure chance.
Flash forward to 10:00 am. Keg has been bought, Tropical Smoothie Cafe has been purchased for Gavin (who has also eaten a Biscuitville sandwich and a bacon, egg, and cheese from yours truly), and hot dogs are being grilled. There are 10 guys circled around a keg fantasizing about a win against Duke later that day.
I just realized that I never even explained what day this was. I’m writing about the day Wake played Duke in basketball at home. Back to the story.
The game started at 2:00. We got to the stadium at 11:00. There were already people lined up outside this outdoor student tailgate deal that opened at 12:00. We waited in this line for an hour before the doors opened which led to us…waiting outside another set of doors for another hour until 1:00. When the clock hit 1:00 the doors opened and the bull rush commenced. I’ve seen videos of Black Friday shopping from before the days of Amazon and I can only imagine this was how it felt. The doors were broken by the force, those crowd control barriers were being knocked over left and right, people were tripping over each other, and everyone was sprinting towards the student section. One of my friends, Frigs, had just gotten surgery on his femur/hip so he was limp-running, and another one of my friends, Chaiken, had a torn labrum so during that initial mad rush we were protecting him like a cocoon so he wouldn’t injure it more.
Regardless, we got to our seats, got our tie dye shirts, and once I had a saved seat I went to the Ouida’s box that they got for the game. Free beer and free food is an automatic yes for me, and since I had an hour before the game I took full advantage. Flash forward to game time. The first half was up and down but we did not look too hot. We entered the half losing 38-36 and vibes were positive but not great. After a halftime spent back in the Ouida’s box, I was back in my seat, or standing, rather, at my seat for the second half. I cannot stress how high my stress levels were for this game. Back and forth, back and forth, until it got to the final minutes and we managed to break away by going up a couple possessions. It’s 83-79, there’s 1.8 seconds left, and Duke is inbounding. The excitement in the stadium, which was as packed and as loud as I’ve ever seen it and as anyone has seen it because it was the largest crowd ever in the Joel, was intoxicating, and students had started filing down the aisles ready to storm the court once time expired. Duke inbounded the ball, Wake intercepted it, the clock ran out, the buzzer rang, and pandemonium ensued. Did I storm the court? You bet your ass I did. On my way there I think I may have ran into some 7-footer named Kyle dressed in blue but I didn’t care. I immediately called my sister, who goes to Duke, and this is how our phone call went.
*phone rings*
Audrey picks up.
Me: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FUCK DUKE!”
I hang up.
Needless to say I was ecstatic. Everyone was moshing on the court, everyone is hugging each other in disbelief, and some guys are even crying. It was awesome. As the madness depleted and people started dispersing, we made our way to the parking lot, where some loser Duke fans were trying to chirp us to no avail, and we eventually ended up on the Quad that was getting rolled. Dozens of people hurling toilet paper rolls in the trees making it look like a snow day. The rest of the day didn’t disappoint either, because we had a much anticipated brotherhood event that night: The Cure. I’ll refrain from explaining what The Cure is in this blog, but all I’ll say is that it was almost as electric as the Duke game and anyone who chirped me for being commissioner and not participating (Frigs and Gavin) you can fuck right off.
So that was the best day I’ve had at Wake. Did our season go downhill from there and we have to watch our team play in the NIT now? Yes. Did Kyle Flipowski pretend to get injured from a court stormer to draw all the attention away from Wake beating his sorry ass? Also yes. Is the Duke basketball program still full of a bunch of absolute losers? Also yes. You can take court storming away from my cold dead fingers Jay Bilas.
What else has happened since my last blog? Oh yeah, spring break.
I took it upon myself, because I’m an idiot who loves to be stressed out, to plan our spring break this year and managed to corral 28 guys to go to the Dominican Republic for 6 days. Needless to say, there was, what I like to call, controlled chaos on this trip. An all-inclusive for a bunch of college kids means a few things:
Lots of drinking (this is a given)
Not exactly “gourmet” food (this is also a given)
Lots of sunburn (yet again, a given)
Some guys being absolute idiots and embarrassing themselves (not surprisingly, also a given)
Grittiness (yet another given)
On top of our hotel being an all-inclusive, it also happened to be a 10 minute taxi drive from the Hard Rock Casino, where we spent more hours than I want to admit over the course of the trip. I came out pretty unscathed (seriously), but I can’t say the same for some of my friends who learned the hard way that the house always wins. The funny thing though, is that losing money playing craps is so fun that they didn’t seem to care too much. Either that or they drank enough that they forgot to be sad about it.
The highlight of the trip had to be the booze cruise. At first it looked like I had gotten us into an absolute disaster of an excursion. Memories of our booze cruise from Junior year spring break had set such a high bar for this year’s that it seemed certain that it would disappoint. Junior year it had been a smallish boat with 40 some people on it. We had been told to not try and “beat the bar” on our way to the boat, so, naturally, we tried to beat the bar. A beer bong was found on the boat, the beer was drained completely, we had 60 year olds on their knees funneling as we chanted beat the bar, etc. It was a fucking blast. Anyway, this year, we were herded on to huge buses with hundreds of other college students from our hotel going on the same booze cruise. 🚩Red flag #1. After a bus ride we get dropped off at a beach where we waiting a half hour to get on a boat. 🚩Red flag #2. Once we got on boat we learned we were going to get dropped off on yet another boat which ended up having about 80-100 people on it. 🚩Red flag #3. Once we’re on that boat they tell us that the bar isn’t open. 🚩Red flag #4. Vibes were low to say the least. Some guys even stayed back on the beach and faded the booze cruise entirely (losers). Well, in typical fashion our group decided to make our own fun and ended up making the booze cruise the best part of the trip. Thanks to Toby, our resident Spanish speaker, I managed to get on aux on the boat(cause when have I ever not hijacked aux?) and that is when it got real fun. I don’t know what the local Dominican boat crew thought when they watched 80-some drunk college kids scream, dance, and mosh to “Free Bird” and “Unwritten”, but all I can say is that our boat looked a hell of a lot more fun than the other ones.
With spring break there comes traveling, and, as anyone who has read this blog before knows, there are some pet peeves I’ve got about people on planes. All the way back in November/December I wrote about how I have a strong dislike (because hate is a strong word) for people who stand up on planes as soon as it lands as if they’re going to be able to get off first. I also wrote that there was another pet peeve I had about plane travel that I couldn’t remember at the time of writing. Well, dear readers, I remembered what it was: if you use your seat recliner on a plane you have no soul. Look, I get it, I’m all about comfort too. I also love a good reclining chair, but if you’re telling me that you absolutely need to recline like 3 inches in order to be comfortable on a plane you’re out of your mind. Planes are already sardine cans. As soon as someone reclines their chair in my face they are added to my burn book. That’s all I’ve got to say about that. Don’t take it up with me, take it up with the airlines who have convinced us that this is the best and most efficient way to travel. Have you seen planes back in the 60s and 70? Those things looked like the best time ever.
Take us back.
That’s the majority of the recap but I have to touch on the title of this blog before we get on to the movies. My friend said it best on Thursday:
The first Thursday of March Madness is one of the best days of the year. My 11:00 class got cancelled (W), and I was already planning on skipping my 2:00 class (Yoga) to go watch basketball. The only thing that stood between me and the promised land was my 12:30 game theory class. So what did me and my friends do during it? Watch the 12:00 games and place ridiculous parlays on all the brand new legal sports gambling sites in North Carolina. No game theory was learned in that class other than the fact that teachers would get more work out of their students if they just cancelled class on the first Thursday of March Madness instead of pretending that they are actually paying attention. We all know that we’re all actually watching basketball on our computers instead of taking notes.
For example, let me harken back to last year’s tournament. #4 Virginia was playing #13 Furman in one of the first games of the day and I was watching it in my Film History class. More specifically, I was watching Kihei Clark, the fifth year senior point guard, do one of the most boneheaded things I’ve ever seen in my sports viewing career. Up 2 (or 1 I don’t remember) UVA had the ball, Kihei was trapped in the corner, lobbed it up court to literally no one, Furman intercepted it, and drilled a buzzer beater three to win the game. Now, mind you, I was watching all this in a 20 person class while my teacher was giving a lecture. The self control I had to exhibit was Oscar worthy. I had just watched my favorite team lose in heartbreaking fashion and I didn’t even emit a sound. Instead, I closed my computer, calmly walked out of the class like I was going to the bathroom, called Frigs (a fellow UVA fan) who had skipped all of his classes and was drinking for his birthday, and screamed at each other on the phone about how miserable we were.
Watching March Madness in class is an acquired skill I’ve obtained over many years of practice. I still remember my strictest fifth grade teacher, who also happened to be in her 60s, cancelling class and letting us watch March Madness cause she was such a huge basketball fan.
I love college basketball. We’re 1 day into March Madness as of this writing and my bracket is already busted. Does that mean I’m gonna stop watching? Hell no.
This is March.
I think that’s all I got. Let’s move on.
Can You Dig It?
There’s been a lot that has happened in the pop culture world since the last blog so I’m gonna touch on what I deem the most interesting/important.
Beatlemania in 2027
This is by far the most interesting thing that has happened since the last blog and I’ve been waiting to write about it here. Sam Mendes (1917, American Beauty, Skyfall) is going to be directing 4 separate biopics about each member of the Beatles. The kicker is that all four movies are going to be released in the same year: 2027. This is either going to be the best thing that has ever happened or is going to flop like a motherfucker. In my heart of hearts I want it to succeed cause the Beatles are my favorite band of all time (not original at all). Gonna be interesting to see who gets cast and what else happens as more news comes out about it.
MCU Fantastic Four Announced
This happened the same day as my last blog (Valentine’s Day). The actors who will be playing the Fantastic Four in the MCU were confirmed after years of speculation. Pedro Pascal will be Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic), Vanessa Kirby will be Sue Storm (Invisible Woman), Joseph Quinn will be Johnny Storm (Human Torch), and Ebon Moss-Bachrach will be Ben Grimm (The Thing). After the last few years of MCU stuff not being great, I’m excited to see what they do with the Fantastic Four because there still has yet to be a truly good movie about Marvel’s first family.
Tom Cruise is Going Back To the Basics
I find this one hard to believe, but apparently Tom Cruise wants to act in “more auteur driven projects” meaning he doesn’t just want to make Top Gun movies and Mission Impossible movies for the rest of his life. My concern is that he’s been doing that for so long that I don’t know if he’ll remember how to act in more low-key, lower stakes dramas. I hope he does though, cause he’s great in those roles (Rain Man, A Few Good Men, Color of Money, Jerry Maguire, etc.) but I guess we’ll see and find out. And we’ll see if he actually follows through with it.
So…the Oscars Happened
Well, the Oscars happened a couple weeks ago and they went exactly as I thought they would.
Best Picture: Oppenheimer
Best Director: Christopher Nolan (first one)
Best Actor: Cillian Murphy (first one)
Best Supporting Actor: Robert Downey, Jr. (first one)
Best Actress: Emma Stone (Poor Things)
Best Supporting Actress: Da’Vine Joy Randolph (first one) (The Holdovers)
Oh, also, John Cena presented an award for costume design naked and Ryan Gosling had an electric performance of “I’m Just Ken.”
The one award that people may have been surprised about was Emma Stone’s win, but after all the awards she’s won during this year’s circuit I felt pretty confident she’d pull through. Nolan finally got his Oscar and is already working on his next movie. Cillian earned his as well and set himself up to become of the hottest actors in Hollywood (even more than he already was). RDJ finally got his Oscar too and has solidified the best comeback in pop culture history going from drug addiction and prison to the highest paid actor in Hollywood with an Oscar to boot. Da’Vine Joy Randolph, outside of having an awesome name, was great in The Holdovers, and I’m excited to see what she does in the future. Finally, Emma Stone is establishing herself as one of the best, if not the best actress of her generation. She’s already won 2 Best Actress awards (the record is 4 by Katharine Hepburn) and she’s only 35. She’s the best, I love her.
Back to Scranton?
I’m admittedly not the biggest Office fan, but I felt obligated to let you all know that a new Office series is officially in the works at NBC. It feels like this news breaks every year, but I think it’s legit this time. It’s most likely going to be centered around a new group of characters in an entirely new office, so we’ll see if they’ll be able to recreate the magic of the original.
Spoiler alert: I don’t think they will be.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
This has been rumored for decades, but the sequel to Beetlejuice is on the horizon, with the first teaser trailer dropping on Friday. My expectations are low, but with Tim Burton, Katherine O’Hara, Winona Ryder, and especially Michael Keaton back to reprise their roles I think there’s a bit of hope.
Alright, let’s get on with it.
As always, check out my Recommendations for the Week if you’re looking for a movie to watch (updated every week)!
And The Vault will be updated with everything I watched in 2023 soon, so go check that out too if you need something to watch.
Alright, on to the blog.
Movies count for the year: 35
Doc count for the year: 11
Real quick, before we get to the blog.
I’m trying out a couple new things here.
Yet another blog with no rankings because I didn’t want it to be a novel and because I’m still trying to catch up
Rewatchable status: for every movie I watch I’m giving it a rewatchable status. Each status will be an answer you’d get from a Magic 8 Ball. I don’t know why I chose that but it’s a new thing and we’ll see how it goes. Here’s a chart for reference:
Player comps: I’m gonna try to start giving every movie a player comp(s). That means, essentially, what movies I think might be a good double feature with a particular movie or a movie I thought of when I was watching the movie I’m writing about. Again, not sure how it’s gonna work but just trying some stuff out.
🎉Also, congratulations to me for (after this blog) writing about 109 movies. Here’s to many more. Maybe I’ll finally learn proper grammar.🎉
Alright, finally.
Movies
Good Night, And Good Luck (2005)
AKA: Remember when the news cared about telling the truth?
Rewatchable Status: Outlook not so good.
I forgot why I added this one to my list but I did, and I watched it. Why did I watch it? Cause it was 11:30 pm on a Sunday night, Chaiken and I wanted to watch a movie, and this one is 90 minutes long. Beautiful. That’ll happen with movies on my watchlist sometimes. I added this one maybe a month ago and I already crossed it off. I take a look at my watchlist and I’ve still got movies I added to it from 2018 (the year I started tracking everything I watch) that I haven’t seen yet. I’m a very indecisive person.
You all came here for a history lesson so I’ll give you some background on this movie.
Not gonna lie, all I knew about this movie going in was that it was set during the 1950s and it was about McCarthyism. Now, McCarthyism, for those of you who are unaware, was the term given to the reign of terror that Senator Joseph McCarthy went on during the early 1950s. His reign of terror consisted of him just blindly accusing people of being a communist. No evidence, no basis, nothing. Just spreading fear and hatred around the country with no regard for what he was doing. This was also during the heart of the Red Scare and the early days of the Cold War, when everyone in America was scared of Communism spreading into the U.S., so people believed McCarthy cause it was the easy thing to do.
Anyway, this movie is about Edward R. Murrow, a newscaster at the time, who used his program to expose McCarthy and take him down. Watching this movie is a like a history lesson and feels like a documentary at times but I thought it was worth the watch just to see how our news cycle and news ethics has changed in just 70 years. The steps these guys took to make sure what they were saying was true and wouldn’t get them in trouble was almost comical to watch today but it goes to show where we’ve gotten when it comes to the news. Also the cast in this movie is top tier.
Quick personal story about my connection with McCarthyism.
In high school we had this day where, instead of class, everyone got to go to three different lectures about stuff they were interested in. All grades could go to any lecture so there were no barriers to entry. Naturally, there was a mad scramble to the best sounding ones (which I did myself) but once those were full it was a lot harder to choose. Now me, a movie lover through and through, looked through every lecture description for any mention of “movies” or “television.” Only one lecture had any mention of movies: “McCarthyism in Hollywood”. I had absolutely no idea what McCarthyism was at the time but let me tell you, there was nothing in that lecture about movies. Needless to say I was bored out of my mind.
Read the fine print everybody.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 4%
Player Comp: All The President’s Men (1976)
No, But Really: I’m still not really sure how to feel about this movie. I thought it was really well made, the performances were great, and I was interested in the subject matter, but, at the same time, there just wasn’t any suspense or anything to get me invested in the movie other than being a history lover. That’s why I liked this movie, cause it taught me something I didn’t know before I watched it. I’m not sure. It’s slow, not very exciting, but is still a good watch if you’re into that. I’ll leave it up to you guys.
The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
AKA: Watch this if you want flashbacks to your least favorite job.
Rewatchable Status: Ask again later.
It was Valentine’s Day night, I had no one to watch a movie with (cause I’m alone and single yay!) and I wanted to watch something that was rom-com or rom-com adjacent. I landed on The Devil Wears Prada. Safe to say that it is most definitely not a rom-com, but it was also the vibe I was going for that night. I knew this was based on a book before I watched it, but I’ve heard it’s dog shit compared to the movie so it’s safe to say that I will not be reading it in the future.
First things first: I think it’s safe to say that Meryl Streep is firmly in the GOAT conversation for best actresses of all time right? That’s definitely not a hot take and I’m not the first to make it, but if you just look at her resumé it’s impossible to argue against. She’s been nominated for 21(!) Oscars (the most all time for a woman), she’s won 3, and she was in Mamma Mia! and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Need I say more?
What I really want to talk about is fashion. Now, anyone who knows me knows that, when it comes to fashion, I’m, how do I put this?
Very bad at it.
Like, until very recently I was rocking the Adam Sandler fit.
I will say that I’ve gotten a hell of a lot better as I’ve gotten older, but the bar was very low to begin with. I’m not really sure who to blame. Do I blame my mom for never teaching me what colors match/go together? Do I blame my dad for wearing knee-length lacrosse shorts around the house my entire life? Or do I blame my friends for not bullying me enough when I was younger? I’m not really sure. All I know is that, since middle school, I’ve been roasted constantly for what I wear, specifically my knee-length shorts and graphic tees. You know what? I understand the shorts thing now, but my graphic tees? I’ll never stop wearing those.
I’m still learning what colors go together though.
I’m 22 years old.
I need to get my life together.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 19%
Player Comp: Mean Girls (2004), Set it Up (2018), Horrible Bosses (2011)
No, But Really: I liked this movie a fair bit but I think it’s still up in the air on whether it’s a rewatchable or not. I just wasn’t sure if I was supposed to like any of the characters at all. I thought Meryl Streep was great, I like Anne Hathaway, and Emily Blunt’s first real movie role was hilarious. Like I said, I liked it but I’m not sure if I loved it. If you’re into fashion or if you’ve ever had a bad boss this might be right up your alley.
3:10 To Yuma (2007)
AKA: Who said westerns were dead?
Rewatchable status: Outlook good.
It seems like this is becoming a common trend, but I don’t remember when or why I added this movie to my watchlist, but all I can say is that I’m glad I did, cause it is awesome. I’m a sucker for Westerns as it is (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is one of my favorite movies of all time) and you’re telling me that we’re adding Russell Crowe and Christian Bale in to the mix? I’m all in. I just gotta say, it’s funny that they cast Russell Crowe, an Australian man, and Christian Bale, a sneaky British man, to play two people living in late 1800s America. Hollywood is a funny place.
James Mangold (who directed this movie) has really made a name for himself as one of the better directors today. He directed Logan (one of the best superhero movies of all time), Ford vs. Ferrari (one of the best car movies of all time), and he directed the newest Indiana Jones movie, which was…okay. Regardless, he’s really solid and this movie is yet another example of him flexing his directing chops. He is also becoming one of the best directors of “dad movies” of all time. For those who are unaware, a “dad movie” is exactly what it sounds like. It is a movie that, when a dad is scrolling through channels and it comes on, he will stop and watch it. Chances are, it will have to do with either sports, cars, the American West, or it will be based on a true story. Chances are, that there will not be very many female characters. Chances are, that there will be strong, manly men faced with hard decisions who are unable to show much emotion.
“Dad movies” rock.
For anyone who wants to read more about dad movies you can do it here:
I’m gonna take a second to talk about Christian Bale. Specifically, I’m gonna take a moment to talk about the insanity that is Christian Bale. See, Bale isn’t crazy in the same way Tom Cruise is crazy, but he is crazy in the way that he treats his body. 3:10 to Yuma came out in 2007. He plays a farmer during the late 1800s in the movie and is pretty skinny but clearly athletic. Cool. This movie was most likely filmed in 2006. Ok, also cool. You know what came out in 2005? Fucking Batman Begins. Christian Bale, who plays Batman, mind you, was fucking yoked for that movie. Ok, cool, so he can drop weight relatively fast. At this point you might be asking yourself:
“Will, what came out a year before Batman Begins?”
Well good reader, I’m here to inform you that The Machinist came out in 2004, a movie in which Christian Bale plays a skeleton-thin man dealing with insomnia. So, to recap, in the span of 3 years Bale was a normal looking guy, a skeleton thin guy, a jacked guy, and a skinnier (but still normal looking) guy. Dope. Well, let’s say, for shits and giggles, that another Batman movie came out in 2008. Oh wait, there was one. The Dark Knight came out that year, and guess what? Bale was jacked in that one again. I don’t know how this guy does it but the commitment is insane. Maybe he is closer to his American Psycho character than I thought.
Author’s note: Here are some stats from those transformations that I found while doing research:
For The Machinist Bale lost 60 pounds in 4 months for the role, bringing his weight down to 120 lbs.
Bale gained all the weight back and more for Batman Begins in just 5 months. He got up to 220 lbs but dropped down to 190 lbs for the role.
I can’t find stats on 3:10 to Yuma, but for a movie that came out in 2006 (Rescue Dawn) he dropped down to 135 lbs so I’ll split the difference and give him 155-160 lbs for 3:10 to Yuma.
For The Dark Knight he was back to 190 lbs.
Yet another author’s note: I didn’t mention The Fighter (2010), where he dropped down to 145 lbs. I also haven’t mentioned The Dark Knight Rises (2012) where he got up to 190 lbs again. I also haven’t mentioned American Hustle (2013) cause I haven’t seen it, but he got up to 220 for that one. And then I also didn’t mention Vice (2018) where he got up 220 again. Oh yeah, and I also didn’t mention Ford vs. Ferarri (2019) where he got down to 155. I could keep going but I think you get the point.
Is this dramatic weight loss and gain healthy for Christian Bale? Absolutely not, but I figured you didn’t need me to tell you that. Does it allow him to give great performances? Yes, but you also probably didn’t need me to tell you that. Let’s find a happy medium Christian. I want to keep watching you in things.
From top left to bottom right:
American Psycho (2000), The Machinist (2004), Vice (2019), American Hustle (2013), Batman Begins (2005), The Fighter (2010)
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 21%
Player Comp: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (1966)
No, But Really: This movie rocked. It checked off a lot of boxes for me and was just an all-around great movie. James Mangold is a stud at directing and the Christian Bale/Russell Crowe combo was fantastic. If you’re into Westerns this will be right up your alley and if you’re not because you think they’re boring or “old-fashioned” you should check this one out cause it will change your mind.
Beautiful Boy (2018)
AKA: Drugs are bad.
Rewatchable status: My sources say no
It was a random Sunday night a couple weeks ago (when I should have been doing homework) and my friends asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I naturally said yes (cause I’ll never say no to a movie night). I was finishing something up so by the time I got over to their house they had picked the movie. Cool, I thought, what are we watching? When they told me we were gonna be watching Beautiful Boy my immediate thought was confusion. How did 5 college seniors, with an entire catalog of movie history at their fingertips, land on a movie based on the memoir of father and his drug addict son to watch on a Sunday night? “Were they trying to go to sleep feeling horrible?” I thought. But who was I to argue? I sat down and watched the movie.
And guess what? When the movie ended and the credits started rolling I felt horrible.
I had to watch like 4 episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and New Girl so I could go to bed in a good mental state. Let me be clear: this is not a bad movie, it’s just a heavy fucking movie to watch right before you’re about to go to sleep.
You’ll be seeing this with future movies, but I’ve been on a Steve Carrell and Timothee Chalamet tear recently with the movies I’ve been watching. I’ll cover this in future blogs.
For now, I want to talk about drugs. This entire movie I just kept hearing Mr. Mackey in the back of my head repeating this phrase:
The entire time.
Addiction, not just drug addiction, is a scary thing and I can’t imagine being a parent and having to see your kid go through it. The lack of control is the most impossible thing to deal with. When someone you love is addicted to doing something that is killing them it is the hardest fucking thing in the world to have to watch. It’s like watching a train that crash in slow motion right in front of you but, despite your best efforts, you can’t do anything about it.
Make sure to check up on your people, give your people a hug, and help them out if you can. You never know what people may be going through.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 6%
Player Comp: Trainspotting (1996), The Fighter (2010), Aftersun (2022), Ladybird (2017)
No, But Really: This movie just makes you feel horrible and never want to do drugs ever. I’m not sure if it was necessarily a “good” movie per se, but I thought Steve Carrell and Timothee Chalamet’s performances were really solid and their relationship carried the movie throughout. The fact that it’s based off a true story was really cool as well. Overall, the thing I cared about the most was the father/son relationship storyline and I think any son/daughter who has a close relationship with a parent or a parent who has a close relationship with a son/daughter can take something away from this movie.
Aftersun (2022)
AKA: Talk about your mental health.
Rewatchable status: Outlook good
Wow, this blog is full of some downers isn’t it!
While this movie may be sad, it’s much more than just that. This movie is sad in a very different way than Beautiful Boy. I can’t speak for myself (because I do not have a child) but I feel this movie would really hit home for any parent (especially dads with daughters). That’s not to say that I didn’t take anything away from the film because I do, in fact, have parents, but I think that it’s probably an entirely different viewing experience as a parent than as a child. I also just feel like I just spent an entire paragraph just repeating myself over and over again but that tends to be how most of these blogs seem to go.
This movie was absolutely gorgeous to look at. It’s Charlotte Wells’ directorial debut, and let me tell you, she knocked it out of the park. Not only was the directing fantastic but the editing, cinematography, and acting was all great as well. Overall just a really well put together movie that I could watch on mute purely because it looks so great.
I want to end this section talking about mental health for a bit. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yawn. But before you skip this section to go read about No Country For Old Men (this blog is full of not the happiest movies) I just want to say that it’s important to talk about all the shit you’re going through, no matter how hard it can be sometimes. The hardest part about talking about your mental health is talking about it for the first time but I can confidently say that it only gets easier and easier the more you do it. You think I’d be writing about this exact subject if it hadn’t gotten easier for me? Hell no. But here we are. There’s a lot of negative stigma around men’s mental health, especially when it comes to being open about it and seeking the help you may need. No guy wants to be called a “pussy” or a “bitch” for talking about their feelings, but recently I think that’s been changing and it’s been a lot easier for guys to be open about how they’re feeling which is great. All I’m trying to say is that if you think someone may be going through something don’t be afraid to ask them if they want to talk. Don’t pressure them into doing it, but when you’re going through some dark stuff having someone offer to help is like a lifeline you never knew you needed.
Check on your boys.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 72%
Player Comp: Ladybird (2017), Beautiful Boy (2018), Eighth Grade (2018),
No, But Really: This movie just made me feel a lot if that makes sense. Just a wide range of emotions with this one overall. The movie is absolutely, positively BEAUTIFUL and I’d rewatch it purely to look at it visually. Paul Mescal is a shooting star that is on fire right now when it comes to actors on the rise and the relationship he has with Frankie Corio (who plays his daughter) is phenomenal in this. This one will make you want to text or call your parents (especially your dad) and tell them you love them.
Running It Back
No Country For Old Men (2007)
AKA: Pure, unadulterated nihilism.
Rewatchable Status: Without a doubt
The first thing I’ll say about this movie is that everyone should watch it at least one time in their life. It had been a couple years since I’d seen it and let me just say that it still fucking hit. I know that the Coen brothers can be a bit weird and not everyone’s cup of tea, but trust me, this one is worth it. Javier Bardem plays one of the best villains of all time in this movie and gives one of my favorite performances of all time, full stop.
This was actually the debut for The Wheel™ this school year. If you’ve been reading the blog since the beginning (this summer) then you may remember that I mentioned it really early on, but I’ll explain what the wheel is for any newcomers. It’s really not that complicated if I’m honest. Last year, whenever my friends and I wanted to watch a movie, we’d spend more time deciding which one to watch than we did actually watching the movie, so, I, being the absolute genius that I am, invented The Wheel™. This is how it works: every person who is watching the movie submits 1 movie they’ve see that they think everyone else should watch and 1 movie that is on their watchlist that they haven’t seen. Once everyone has submitted their choices the wheel is spun and whatever movie it lands on is the one that we watch. That movie is then removed from The Wheel™ for future spins. It’s really an ingenious idea if I do say so myself. So Sharks, I’m looking for 10% ownership at a $1.3 million valuation. Any takers?
There have been times where The Wheel™ stirs up controversy. Take, for example, one of my friends putting How To Train Your Dragon 1, 2, and 3 on there (Thanks Frigs). Now, don’t get me wrong, I really like the HTTYD movies, but, if I’m honest, it’s not at the top of my list for movies to watch on a random Wednesday night. Or one of my other friends putting Mad Max: Fury Road on The Wheel™ twice because he wanted to watch it that bad. But we’ll get to that with the next movie in the blog. Regardless, The Wheel™ is a great way to pick a movie with your friends and takes the hassle of picking one out of the equation.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 60%
Player Comp: There Will Be Blood (2007), The Dark Knight (2008)
No, But Really: Just a fantastic fucking movie, nothing else really to say. Javier Bardem gives one of the best performances of the 2000s, it’s a gorgeous movie to look at, and the lack of a soundtrack or really any score makes the suspense that much better. All around great and should be on everyone’s watchlist if they haven’t seen it already.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
AKA: Holy fuck that’s a lot of cars.
Rewatchable Status: Yes, definitely.
Yet again, I’ll say right off the bat that everyone should see this movie at least once in their life. It’s truly one of the best action movies of all time and one of the best movies of the 2010s overall. I’m not sure how the upcoming Furiosa movie is gonna be, but all I know is that Charlize Theron is a badass in this movie and I hope Anya Taylor-Joy can be half as good playing a younger version of the character.
Before I first watched this movie I knew it was great. I’d heard only great things and it was at the top of my watchlist for a couple years. Only thing was, I wanted to watch the original Mad Max movies before I watched it. I’m not sure if it’s cause I thought I needed to (you don’t at all) or because it’s just how my brain works, but I watched Mad Max (1979) and Mad Max: The Road Warrior (1981) before I watched Fury Road. As I previously mentioned: there is absolutely, and I mean absolutely, no need to watch the original movies before watching Fury Road. Am I glad I did? Yes, of course, but for anyone who hasn’t seen any of them I think you can go straight to Fury Road without any trouble. A couple things:
The OG Mad Max is nothing like the sequels. It’s not set in a desert-dystopian world, just a futuristic Australia that look suspiciously like 1979.
The OG Mad Max was made for $350,000 ($1.8 million today). That is a tiny ass budget for a feature film. It made over $100 million! That’s insanity! It set the Guinness World Record for most profitable film of all time with that performance. Crazy.
Mel Gibson is also crazy.
I love that Kevin Costner tried to take Mad Max and switch it from there being a scarcity in water to there being a scarcity of land/gas in Waterworld. Even funnier that that movie cost $175 million to make and only made $264 million. This movie also set a record as the most expensive movie ever made at the time and is one of the biggest flops of all time.
Alright, I mentioned it when I wrote about No Country For Old Men, but I have to talk about Buch. See, my friend, current housemate, and former roommate Buch is in love with Mad Max: Fury Road. In fact, he is so in love with this movie that he has been trying to get us to watch it for over a year now. Every time we had a movie night this was his suggestion. Every. Single. Time. Over winter break it happened to be on one night (New Years Eve actually) and I ended up watching the last hour of the movie (that’s how rewatchable it is). I told Buch this when I got back to school and he reacted like I’d just cheated on him. He acted as if I’d betrayed him by watching the movie over break without him.
Keep in mind that both of us have already seen this movie multiple times.
Anyway, it got to the point that, as a collective, we decided that we might as well just watch the movie so that Buch would finally shut the fuck up about it. So we did, and he shut up. Again, I love the movie, I love Buch, but goddamn, don’t you ever want to watch something that you haven’t seen before?
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 4%
Player Comp: Speed (1994), Fast Five (2011)
No, But Really: This is one of the best action movies of all time and one of the best movies of the last decade full stop. If you haven’t watched it yet you should stop what you’re doing and get on that right now. The practical effects elevate it to another level, the stunts are wild, and the colors pop like nothing else. It’s amazing. Plus, you don’t even have to have seen the original ones to understand what is going on.
In Theaters
The Beekeeper (2024)
AKA: Every Jason Statham movie ever.
Rewatchable Status: Don’t count on it
I saw the trailer for this movie and knew that I had to see it immediately. You’re telling me that Jason Statham is going to be playing a beekeeper who is secretly a retired special agent? And you’re also telling me that his title was a beekeeper while he was an agent? Wait, you’re also telling me that he was called a beekeeper because his job was to: “Protect the hive”? Wait, were you still talking? I already bought my ticket.
All jokes aside, I needed a movie to watch one night and since January is such a shitty month for movies in theaters, this was my best option. And I gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised!
Before you ask: yes, I watched this in January. I’m very far behind with these blogs. Yes, I’m fully aware that it’s March.
If you’ve read the blog before then you probably know by now that I’m a huge fan of the John Wick franchise. It’s rare for a franchise to go 4/4 in terms of high-quality, entertaining movies, but by God did they hit it out of the park with that series. Anyway, since John Wick came out in 2014 filmmakers have been trying to copy the formula in attempts to strike gold again. There have been honorable attempts (Nobody, Sisu, Bullet Train) but there have also been some shit ones. I’m all for these types of movies cause while I love “films” I also am a sucker for movies where I can just turn my brain off and go full monkey brain as I watch a singular guy take down 15 armed men in one go without even getting injured. It gets me every time. I am not ashamed in the slightest.
Chance my Dad cries while watching this movie: 0%
Player Comp: Sisu (2022), Nobody (2021), John Wick 1,2,3,4
No, But Really: I was pleasantly surprised this one. As I’ve made abundantly clear, it’s very similar to Jason Statham’s other roles, but that’s ok because he’s carved out a niche for himself and has become the absolute best at that one thing: hard-nosed, bad ass action movies. This one is action packed, violent, and has a hilariously insane plot. Great “turn your brain off” movie.
-It’s been a minute
—I don’t like being back in school after spring break
—-Why do I always volunteer to plan things
——UVA basketball can’t score
——-I love March Madness
———Wake Forest Basketball makes me sad
———-I need to find a job
————Sebree! This is for youuuuuuuuuuuu!