So...we may have gotten a guy fired.
It was a total accident.
Welcome back, everybody!
Just a quick breakdown of the blog for any new readers:
I ramble for a bit and give an update on my life and what I’m thinking about this week
I talk about the movies I watched recently (usually in the last week but I’m still catching up)
I do some rankings, ask some hypothetical questions (ex: what are the chances my dad cries while watching this movie?), and then I give my no frills, no jokes review
We ignore grammar errors here at the blog. Give me a break.
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Hello everyone. First off, I want to say Happy New Year, I hope everyone’s 2025 is off to a good start, and I hope that everyone had a happy holiday season. Mine was full of Christmas cookies, jigsaw puzzles, and the constant feeling that I was in purgatory. If I were to venture a guess, I’m gonna assume that I’m not alone in my experience. Christmas and New Year’s being on Wednesday was, as I like to put it “fucky.” It was great to be home to see my family and friends but now I’m back in LA and back to looking for a job. AKA: back to real life. At least that’s what I've been telling myself.
My “holiday break” was relatively uneventful, so until I think of a way to make an intro out of it we’re gonna flashback to the week before Christmas when my sister visited me out here in LA. Even though I’ve been out here for a few months now, I haven’t given myself the chance to explore the city as much as I’ve wanted to. i.e. do all the touristy stuff. Enter: my sister. Her visit gave me the perfect excuse to finally be a tourist. And I gotta say; we had a great time. The Getty Art Museum, The Getty Villa (that guy was really rich), the Walk of Fame (LA’s Times Square), a hike up to the Hollywood sign, the Griffith Observatory, and more. All of that was great, but what I think we were both looking forward to the most was the tour of my former place of employment as a background actor (for one day at least):
Warner Bros. Studio.
The day started off without a hitch. We made it to the studio on time, we watched an intro video, and we boarded our tour golf cart. It was only then that we realized we were in unfamiliar territory. Our tour guide asked our group what we liked to watch, and before allowing us to answer, he said, “Show of hands, who’s here for the Gilmore Girls event?” My sister and I were on an island surrounded by raised hands. A quick scan led me to notice the various Gilmore Girls shirts, tote bags, and pins adorning the shirts of our fellow passengers. So off we went, on a tour that was merely a pit stop between us and Stars Hollow (which, I learned, is where Gilmore Girls is set). After about an hour of driving through the streets, sets, and sound stages that have produced countless TV shows and films in the last 100 years, we were dropped off at Stars Hollow, where we were allowed to walk around and explore. Audrey and I decorated some cookies, we meandered around the fake town, and I took some pics for my therapist (she’s a huge Gilmore Girls fan) before we made a beeline for the Friends couch to take some photos in front of the fountain.
So far, so good.
Now, I’ve told this story to a few people and this gives me the perfect opportunity to visually explain the situation. We’d waited a few minutes in line to get our photo taken on the couch. After that, we weren’t really sure what we wanted to do next. Here’s where the fence comes into play. 10 feet in front of the couch was a fence that separated Stars Hollow from the streets/sets we’d just driven through. And I’m not talking about some high-security gate here. This is what I’m talking about:
Just a singular one of these bad boys.
So we weren’t sure what to do next, but we saw the people who had taken pictures on the couch before us go through this gate to the outside world. So Audrey and I choose to do the logical thing: follow them. As we began to walk through the human-sized gap between the fence and the bushes next to it, a security guard stopped us to say, “Just so you know, if you go through this gate you can’t come back through. You’ll have to walk around to the other side of the building you just came in through.” We nodded that we understood and we went on our way.
No problem.
Now it’s just me and Audj, exploring the Warner Bros. lot by ourselves. Walking down the streets of New York, past the Daily Planet, past Chinatown, past the soundstages where Friends and Casablanca were filmed, and having a grand old time. We thought it was so cool that the kind and generous people at Warner Bros. let you loose after the tour to walk around and explore. After walking around for 20 or so minutes, we ended up at a building that tourists (like us) were walking into. Naturally, we wanted to do the same, so we walked up to the guy at the door and asked if we could go in. He asked to see out walking passes.
We had no such passes.
He asked us how we got there.
We told him we walked.
He told us that a golf cart was supposed to have dropped us off.
We told him we were not aware of this.
After a minute of a conversation that was going nowhere, he finally let us in the door because it was where the tour ended. Unbeknownst to us, we had stumbled into the right spot. A blind squirrel finds a nut once and a while. Inside this final building was the Central Perk set, props and costumes from Batman movies, Harry Potter movies, and plenty of other classic films under the Warner Bros. umbrella. 10 minutes go by. Audj and I are waiting in line to get sorted by the Sorting Hat (of course) when this lanky guy walk-runs up to us in a sort of panic. He asked if we were the 2 people who had walked here.
We said yes.
He started off by saying that we were not in trouble.
The thought had never even crossed our minds but we both nodded okay anyway.
He then asked us to tell him exactly how we ended up walking through the Warner Bros. lot and ended up at the final building.
We told him exactly what you just read yourself.
He was shocked, to say the least. He made it very clear that this was not supposed to happen and that we were absolutely not supposed to have been able to do what we’d just done. Not gonna lie, most of what he said quickly sounded like the adults in Charlie Brown.
I, for one, wasn’t really sure how to respond to this so I just nodded in understanding again.
And that was that. He told us to enjoy the rest of our time at Warner Bros. as he left and we went back to exploring (I got into Ravenclaw and Audrey got into Slytherin by the way.) Again, we thought it was all over with. That is, until the same lanky guy came up to us a few minutes later, asking for a detailed description of the security guard who had let us through the “gate.” Again, it was one of these:
It wasn’t exactly the hardest gate that I’ve bypassed in my 23 years on this Earth.
To be clear, I was now aware that the security guard should probably not have let us by. I was now aware that he had fucked up. However, I was also aware that everybody hates a rat. So I played dumb. I still remember exactly what the guy looked like (tallish, heavy set, dark hair, dark mustache, late-20s, Latin American), but I wasn’t gonna tell the lanky guy this. My sister, god bless her, actually didn’t remember what he looked like, so the lanky guy was fishing in an empty pond for a description of the guard. He asked us for his hair color; we gave an unsure answer. He asked us for his facial hair; we gave an unsure answer. He asked us for his skin color; we gave a very unsure answer. Once he was done with his interrogation which I hope turned out to be a failure, he told us, yet again, to enjoy the rest of our visit. And that was the last we saw of him.
So yeah, I’d say it was a successful trip to Warner Bros. To the mystery guard who let us through that “gate”: thanks a bunch, it made our visit much more fun.
I really hope we didn’t get you fired.
Alright, on to the blog.
And as always, go check out The Vault if you need something to watch. It’s got everything I’ve watched since 2018 on there with my reviews. I’m working on 2024 right now so all of that new stuff will be up there soon.
Alright, on to the blog.
Movies count for the year: 5 (off to a hot start)
Doc count for the year: 0
Keeping Movie Theaters Alive
Go see these (if they’re still out).
2 of these movies are still in theaters (at the time of writing) and in wide release. The other 2 are not. I still think you should watch them at home.
Flow (2024)
AKA: Talking animals are overrated.
A few blogs ago, right after Thanksgiving, I wrote about my cat-sitting job. It was all the way back then when I went to go see this movie. It was a Friday night, I had nothing to do (as is the case most weekends) and I needed to get out of the house. And by “out of the house” I mean, get out of the house, walk 10 steps to my car, drive 20 minutes to the movie theater, walk 1000 feet inside the theater, sit down for 2+ hours, walk 1000 feet back to my car, drive 20 minutes home, and finally take those last 10 steps back inside the house. All while not talking to a single human being the entire time. Very healthy, I know.
Anyway, I needed a movie to go see and I was stuck between this and Moana 2. I think it’s safe to say that I made the better choice. Full transparency: I haven’t seen Moana 2 yet, but I’ve heard it’s pretty mid. But I digress. I didn’t know much going into Flow, but I’d heard only good things and since I was living with a couple of cats at the time, I thought it was a fitting watch since the main character is a cat. And goddamn was it a great time. This movie is a prime example of why I love movies so much. No words in this film, not a single one. No humans in this film either, not a single one. The only characters are animals, and let me tell you, you’ll never care about a group of animated animals more in your life. A good movie can do that. This movie is 85 minutes long, but by the end, you feel like you’ve been with these animals for your entire life. You’re invested in their well-being and you’ll do anything to make sure they stay okay. This movie tests those feelings a bunch, so be prepared. But that’s what I’m saying. The way movies can make you feel an entire spectrum of emotions is what makes me love them so much. I just hope I can be involved in making a single thing that does that for an audience.
But first I need to get a job.
*Author’s Note: Flow just won the Golden Globe for Animated Feature last night. It’s a two-horse race between Flow and The Wild Robot for that Oscar in March. Both are totally deserving in my opinion.*
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: There are no words in this movie. So…no.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 72%
No, But Really: This movie is absolutely gorgeous and has a really good chance to win the Oscar for animated feature come March. The animation style is different than most (if not all) things I’ve seen and I will say it took a couple of minutes to get used to, but you’ll be sucked in by this movie quickly enough. There are no words, but there doesn’t need to be, because even though all of the characters are animals, you know exactly what they’re saying at every moment, which is what makes this movie so beautiful.
Wicked (2024)
AKA: Wizard of Oz fan-fiction.
I want to be clear: I liked this movie a fair bit. If you loved it then I’m warning you to read this section at your own risk.
While I was aware of the push to make a “Glicked” happen, (Gladiator II + Wicked combo) there just wasn’t that same appeal that Barbenheimer had. In the words of Regina George:
But instead of “fetch” read that as “Glicked.” Sorry, I’m too lazy to switch it.
So yeah, I saw Gladiator II before Thanksgiving and didn’t see Wicked till a couple of weeks after I got back to LA. And let me say off the bat:
I had a good time watching Wicked.
It was a great watching experience, especially in a sold-out theater (even if the lady next to me was laughing a bit too hard at some of the jokes). I enjoyed the songs, Ariana Grande was the best part of the entire movie, and the two leads have some fucking pipes.
HOWEVER, that being said…
I guess I just don’t understand the hype. I’ve seen the Wicked musical. It was years and years ago now (I feel older with every passing day) but I’ve seen it and I’m aware of some of the songs. But that’s about it. I’ve seen it once, I know “Defying Gravity,” and I know Idina Menzel played the Wicked Witch. I also know these things. I know that The Wizard of Oz is one of the best movies of all time. I’ve seen it 20+ times, I know all of the songs, and I know Judy Garland played Dorothy. This is where I show my clear bias. I guess my thing is that I don’t really understand the need to explain the backstory to the characters in a movie that is 85 years old. Why did we feel the need to explain the backstory of one of the best villains of all time in The Wicked Witch of the West to make her more sympathetic? I’m aware that movies like the Star Wars prequels do this for Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker, but while those feel like prequels because they're a continuation of the original creator’s vision, Wicked plays out as more of a fan fiction to me than anything else. So yeah, that’s where my mind was at after watching this movie. I will say, I left the theater feeling good about the movie. But here’s the thing:
This movie simply cannot win Best Picture at the Oscars.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while then you’re probably aware of my complicated relationship with the Oscars (and award shows in general). What this boils down to is that I enjoy some parts of them and dislike some parts of them wholeheartedly (similar to my experience with Wicked). In a year that is the most uncertain it’s been in years when it comes to the Oscars, the Best Picture race was pretty wide open until a couple of months ago. Hell, Wicked wasn’t even close to being a contender in my mind (like that matters). And then it came out and it exploded. Right away it flew to the top of the shortlist for Best Picture, which makes no sense in my brain. It looks like shit, it’s Part 1 of 2, and it’s not that good. I’m aware that I’m at risk of sounding like a pretentious film bro, but if this movie wins Best Picture it would be a complete travesty. Thankfully this has become less of a threat in the weeks since it came out, at least in my mind (again, like that matters at all). Not to be dramatic, but if Wicked wins Best Picture, movies as we know them could be dead. Again, fun movie, I had a great time watching it. But Best Picture? Hell no.
So there. Academy voters, none of whom are reading this blog of course, do the right thing and vote literally any other contender as Best Picture. Thanks.
*Author’s Note: Wicked won nothing last night at the Golden Globes. Let’s keep it that way. Again, not trying to be a hater I just can’t have this win Best Picture.*
Ranking Wizard of Oz characters I’d like to get a beer with:
Scarecrow
Never a doubt. There was never a different choice for #1. I know this guy would be a great hang.
Tin Man
The Tin Man barely gets beaten out by the Scarecrow here. It could have gone either way but the Scarecrow’s song is better than the Tin Man’s so he gets the win (and he’s clearly a better hang).
All of the Wicked Witch’s Guards
I don’t know, there’s just something about these guys. They clearly need to blow off some steam working for such a shitty boss. I think we’d have a great time.
The Mayor of Munchkin Land
I don’t know. This guy seems like a chiller, there’s no other way to say it.
The Wizard
I know this guy has some stories. Definitely gonna need to take a ride on the hot air balloon afterward.
Toto
He got paid more than the munchkin actors did so we’re dining out on his dollar. Seriously. This dog got paid $125 a week. The munchkins got somewhere between $50-$100. Wild.
Cowardly Lion
I’m sorry. He just seems like a drag. Great guy though.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Plenty.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: The farther away I get from watching this movie the less good I think it is. Maybe that’s just my pessimistic side hoping it doesn’t win Best Picture, but I think it’s also because of my deep love for The Wizard of Oz and not feeling the need to learn the backstory of the classic. I thought Ariana Grande was magnificent and I enjoyed the songs/singing, but I think it looks pretty terrible. I know I sound harsh because I did enjoy this movie, but it’s probably not one I’ll be watching again. It’s also almost 3 hours which is absurd for a movie like this.
September 5 (2024)
AKA: Reporting is very stressful.
You know what movie this reminded me of? Good Night, and Good Luck. I watched that last year when I was at school, I wrote about it in a blog, and I didn’t know what to think about it. I bring that movie up because, like Good Night, and Good Luck, September 5 is about news reporters and the ethics of the profession. Just like GNAGL, what struck me about this movie is how much news coverage has changed since the 1950s (in the case of GNAGL) and since the 1970s in the case of September 5.
For anyone who is unaware, September 5 is about the sportscasters covering the 1972 Munich Olympics, specifically their coverage of the terrorist attack that occurred at those Olympics. What I didn’t know was that the 1972 Olympics were the first Olympics to be broadcast live and that the reporters covering the attack were sports reporters, not news reporters. All in all, it’s an absolutely insane story that was truly the first of its kind. You watch in real-time as the people in the booth decide what is okay to be shown on television and what draws the line. I don’t have a ton more to say about this movie if I’m honest. I’m always gonna go to bat for a movie that doubles as a history lesson, especially if the movie is good (which this one is). I wish it had gotten a wider release, but it’s definitely one that is worth watching at home. If I’m honest, I don’t have much more to say about this movie than that. It was really quite good and I highly recommend it.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Yes. Next question.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 4%
No, But Really: A pretty perfect example of a history lesson/quality movie combo. I really enjoyed this movie and I wish it had gotten a larger rollout because I think more people deserve to see this. It’s thrilling and is a great behind-the-scenes look at one of the most stressful and tense live broadcasts of all time. Even if you know the story or live through it, I think this gives a different perspective on the story that so many people know already. Definitely worth the watch.
A Complete Unknown (2024)
AKA: Bob Dylan Pt. 1
This movie could should have been a disaster. This is a movie set in 1961-1965 about one of the most accomplished musicians of all time who has a very distinct voice and speaking style. Those are just a couple of possible issues. Another possible issue: Would anyone care? Would anyone under the age of 60 care about the years before Bob Dylan went electric? To learn more about the folk scene he started his career in? So yeah, there were a lot of potential issues. Like I said: this movie should have been a disaster. But it wasn’t. And you know why? Well, there were a number of reasons why, but for dramatic effect, I’m gonna give you one reason:
Timothee Chalamet.
I’ve always been a Timmy guy. I bought season tickets when I first saw him in something (I can’t remember what I first saw him in but it’s the truth) and I’ve kept them ever since. He’s been one of the top young guys in Hollywood for a few years now but there was always the question of his he could carry his own movie. Well, if Dune didn’t answer that question in 2021, his 2024 sure as hell did. Not including Wonka, which came out in 2023 but was a hit (even though it wasn’t my favorite) Chalamet had Dune: Part Two and A Complete Unknown in 2024. Two very different movies and two very different performances that both turned out brilliantly. Dune: Part Two is far and away the better film, but that’s beside the point. Timmy convincingly plays Bob Dylan, which makes this movie 1000x better than it should have been.
What’s interesting about this movie though, is that it’s not as much of a movie as is it a vehicle for the actors to showcase their abilities to sing and play instruments. That may sound like I’m discounting this movie for merely being a collection of Bob Dylan songs with bits of movie sprinkled in but that is not the case. If anything, the fact that the actors learned to play their instruments and learned to sing makes this movie better than a lot of music biopics. Does this move reinvent the wheel? Hell no. But it is a damn good time at the theaters. And guess what? People under the age of 60 do care about Bob Dylan. At least, that’s what it seems like because this movie is doing pretty solidly at the box office. At the very least, it may be a sign that Timmy is “the guy.” I’ve said Glen Powell is “the guy” in this blog before, but I think Timmy may have tipped the scales with A Complete Unknown combined with the greatest press tour the world has ever seen. If people are starting to go to movies just because Timothee Chalamet is in it (which may not be the case, I’m just speculating) then maybe movie stars aren’t dead just yet.
Mount Rushmore of Bobs:
I don’t even know if I agree with this Mount Rushmore. There are simply too many Bobs.
Spongebob Squarepants (Spongebob Squarepants)
There couldn’t be a different #1 here.
Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)
I haven’t even watched that much of The Simpsons, but Sideshow Bob is by far one of my favorite characters. Like I said, there are too many Bobs to include on this list so I’m sticking with animated.
Bob the Builder (Bob the Builder)
Shoutout to Blair the Builder and Borg the Builder.
Bob Parr (The Incredibles)
Honorable Mentions (that maybe should have made it): Bob the Tomato (Veggie Tales), Bob (Bob’s Burgers).
Mount Rushmore of Dylans:
Dylan “Dil” Pickles (Rugrats)
This is the only one I could find that I’ve seen or actually know. I didn’t even know this was his real name.
There are a lot less Dylans than there are Bobs.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: In song form numerous times.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 15%
No, But Really: This was a blast. At the end of the day, I don’t know exactly how much of a movie this is, but goddamn were the performances brilliant. Chalamet in particular became Bob Dylan. This movie shouldn’t have worked and his performance was central in that possibility. Instead, he elevated it over the top and carried it. Monica Barbaro was also great as Joan Baez and Ed Norton as Pete Seeger was great as well. It’s so big when your actors can sing and play instruments. It also goes without saying that the soundtrack is great as well. James Mangold is always a solid choice when it comes to movies like this.
-I love Jayden Daniels (and Marcus Mariota)
—12 wins?! (The most since 1991)
—-Looking for our first playoff win in 20 years
——Back on the job hunt
———Back in LA
Damn Will now when Warner Bros reads your blog they’ll know the security guard’s description
Dylan McKay, my sweet child, Dylan McKay.