Take this L.
The 50th Blog spectacular.
Welcome back, everybody!
Just a quick breakdown of the blog for any new readers:
I ramble for a bit and give an update on my life and what I’m thinking about this week
I talk about the movies I watched recently (usually in the last week but I’m still catching up)
I do some rankings, ask some hypothetical questions (ex: what are the chances my dad cries while watching this movie?), and then I give my no frills, no jokes review
We ignore grammar errors here at the blog. Give me a break.
Also, please subscribe and share with your friends. It’s FREE and I really appreciate the support, it means a lot.
I hope everyone’s week is off to a good start following Presidents’ Day. Huge shoutout to George Washington and Abe Lincoln for giving kids everywhere the day off school and for giving lucky adults the day off work along with them. Every day is Presidents’ Day to me, so I didn’t feel a huge difference, but, hey, I guess that’s one of the perks of not having a job.
Well, that, and the inescapable feeling that you’re being chased through the wilderness by a monster that you can sense is terrifying but you don’t know what it looks like and you’re running for your life and while you manage to barely stay ahead of it it never stops chasing after you and you work on hunting it as you sprint away from it but you know that even if you land a hit it’s only going to slow down and it’ll never die.
*Catches breath*
The monster is a metaphor for failure by the way.
Per usual, my attempts at starting things off on a positive note devolved into foreboding misery on my end. Let’s put a change to that.
This is the 50th blog I’ve written.
That’s crazy!
I can’t believe I’ve written 50
I can’t believe I’ve only written 50
I can’t believe people actually read these
I can’t believe I’ve stuck with it
I swear I didn’t time this on purpose to align with SNL’s 50th anniversary
All I can say is that I’m super grateful for all of you who read. I’m doubly grateful to all of you who read and subscribe. I know there’s a faction of you who only read, and I respect that. It’s a pain in the ass to subscribe for some reason, but your eyes are just as meaningful as the eyes of a subscriber who reads so thanks to everyone.
Let’s go over some stats, shall we?
My first blog was published on July 26, 2023. You can read that here.
According to my calculations, that was exactly 82 weeks ago.
So, if I do some really quick math, we get the calculation that I’m a lazy piece of shit who should have at least 82 blogs out by now.
See, there I go again, being all negative again. Keep it positive Will. Sure, it’s been 82 weeks. I’ve had half of a summer, my full senior year, a full summer, a cross-country move, 6 months in LA, and more in between that first blog and now. It’s wild to think about how much my life has changed since then. It’s even more wild to think about how much I’ve changed since then. If you’d told me on July 26, 2023, that I’d be where I am right now I wouldn’t have believed you. On July 26, 2023, I was fresh off a solo 10-hour drive from Annapolis, MD-Savannah, GA, a legit full-on panic attack, and the crushing fear of being in a new place all by myself.
Flash forward 82 weeks and I don’t think I’ve had a panic attack since then, I’ve done 40 days and counting of driving by myself, have had more alone time than any person should have in their life, and have been living in a new place for the last 6 months. Life is good for the most part. Sure, a lot happened between then and now, but what’s cool is that I can trace that journey through the 49 previous blogs I’ve written. Thanks for reading along with me.
Ok, time for some more numbers.
Since the blog started…
I’ve written about 232 movies.
I’ve written about 33 documentaries (remember when I had time for those?)
And I even wrote about 3 shows that I finished (that seems like decades ago).
I don’t know how many words I’ve written overall, but it’s easily over 200,000.
And guess what? I’m not stopping anytime soon. There will be more movies, more words, and more blogs to come. Who knows? Maybe we’ll even get to the point where I can write about documentaries again. But that’s a long way away. For the time being, I’ve got more movies to write about than I know what to do with.
Also, I got all of those numbers from The Master Index Sheet, which you can use if you watch a movie and want to see what I wrote about it. I can’t guarantee that I’ve written about it, but if I have it’ll be right here:
On that note, let’s do a breakdown of my 2024 watching. I had a great time doing this last year so I figured I’d run it back. If you want to check out my stats from last year you can see them here:
To all of the people who just participated in The Barrel recently, major props, and I hope you’ve managed to recover. That fact that was only a little over a year ago is terrifying. If you told me to do The Barrel today I’d maybe be able to do it for a day before forfeiting. Anyway, let’s crunch even more numbers.
That’s A Wrap!™
2024 Year in Review
Total # of Movies Watched: 196 (breaking my previous record of 184, set in 2023)
Total # of Movies Seen in Theaters: 38 (breaking my previous record of 34, set in 2018)
Total # of Documentaries Watched: 61
Total # of Stand-Up Specials Watched: 15
Total # of Movies Watched for the First Time: 164
Shortest Movie I Watched Last Year: Flow (85 Minutes ~ 1 hour 25 minutes)
Longest Movie I Watched Last Year: The Right Stuff (193 minutes ~ 3 hours 13 minutes)
Average Length of a Movie I Watched Last Year: 1 hour, 57 minutes (an almost perfect movie length)
Years With the Most Movies Watched before 2018 (the year I started tracking everything I watch):
72 movies I watched last were released between 2018-2024 so we’re only focused on the years before then.
2017 & 1993 (7), 2007 & 2004 (8)
1993: Dazed and Confused, True Romance, Mrs. Doubtfire, Philadelphia, Jurassic Park, Tombstone, The Fugitive
2017: Lady Bird, I, Tonya, Kong: Skull Island, The Equalizer 2, Battle of the Sexes, Darkest Hour, War for the Planet of the Apes
2004: Along Came Polly, Mean Girls, The Bourne Supremacy, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Sideways, National Treasure, Man on Fire
2007: The Bourne Ultimatum, Superbad, No Country For Old Men, 3:10 to Yuma, Live Free or Die Hard, Spider-Man 3, Zodiac, There Will Be Blood
I watched a ton of good movies last year. Here are my favorites. First, here are my favorites that came out in 2024:
Flow
A Real Pain
The Wild Robot
Kneecap
Saturday Night
Anora
Dune: Part 2
I only saw 28 movies that came out in 2024 last year, and most of them were at least good/solid, but these were my favorites. Not necessarily all the “best” movies, but ones I’d recommend to anyone and everyone.
Now for my overall favorites from what I watched throughout last year (not counting the movies I watched for the 2nd (or 10th) time):
Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
The Graduate (1967)
Apocalypse Now (1978)
The Shining (1980)
Blow Out (1981)
Diner (1982)
The Right Stuff (1983)
No Way Out (1988)
Dead Poets Society (1989)
True Romance (1993)
Inside Man (2006)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
La La Land (2016)
A Star is Born (2018)
Aftersun (2022)
The Killer (2023)
Blackberry (2023)
Godzilla: Minus One (2023)
The Iron Claw (2023)
You ask me tomorrow and I assure you that my answer to that question will be entirely different. But today, as I write this, that’s my list and I’m sticking to it.
We’re almost done, but first I wanted to peel back the curtain and let you guys know just how far behind I am on writing about the movies I watched in 2024.
In 2024, I watched 196 movies.
In 2024, I wrote about 15 movies I watched in 2023 because I was behind. The only problem is, that took me till February, and then I only wrote 3 blogs between February 7 and July 3 😬.
From January 1-July 3 I watched 68 movies and wrote about 18. Again, 😬. So I basically started the year in a 50-movie hole, and I’ve been chipping away ever since.
Alright then, where do we stand now?
Well, of the 196 movies I watched in 2024, I’ve written about 136 of them, which leaves me with 60 movies to write about still. These 60 movies fall into a few categories:
6 first-time movies that I watched at home
10 movies I saw in theaters that were either rewatches or repertory screenings of older movies I hand’t seen
25 movies from different franchises that I was completing
19 movies I rewatched
Add all of that to the 24 movies I’ve watched but haven’t written about this year and that leaves us with…
84 movies that I’m behind on.
Fuck me. That can’t be right. It looks like so much less on my Master Google Doc Planner. Welp, I told you guys it would be a while before I caught all the way back up.
And, last but not least, here are my calculations for how much time I spent watching stuff last year.
Again, just like last year, please do not be alarmed. I am of sound mind as I write this. Please do not think I have a problem.
Pretty please.
TV Shows: 252 hours and 45 minutes
Stand-Up Specials: 16 hours and 59 minutes
Documentaries: 169 hours and 3 minutes
Movies In Theaters: 76 hours and 23 minutes
Movies At Home: 303 hours and 17 minutes
Which all adds up to:
818 hours and 27 minutes
Which translates to:
34 days, 2 hours, and 27 minutes
Again, do not be alarmed. I swear this is not a cry for help. These numbers are still less than my highest numbers in 2020 (which was Covid so it doesn't count) and also less than they were in 2018 and 2019, when I was super depressed and spent all my time watching stuff because I had nothing else to do and didn’t want to do anything else.
Now I watch stuff because I want to. I watch TV and documentaries when I make dinner, when I work out, and when I clean my room. I try to watch a new movie every day because I’ve got the time. And you know what advice I’ve gotten a lot during networking calls and such?
You need to know and you need to watch everything.
So I’m way ahead of schedule. Now I just need to find a job that makes all of this useful.
Alright, let’s get on with the blog.
🚨Breaking News🚨
I made a new website. It’s basically the same as the old Vault, but it’s been given a makeover and the movies and documentaries I watched in 2024 are now available as well. If you check it out please give me suggestions on how I can make it better. And let me know if there are any issues I need to fix.
Check it out here!
Movies count for the year: 34
Doc count for the year: 3
Movies at Home
Inching ever closer to having no life. I actually watched these movies back when I was taking care of those cats right after Thanksgiving. As I told you before, I’m behind.
Blitz (2024)
AKA: WWII was not a fun time.
When this movie was announced, my (and every film person's) expectations were pretty damn high. That's what you get when you combine Steve Mcqueen, Saoirse Ronan, and World War II. Any one of those three and I'm most likely gonna be in the theater opening night, but when you give me all three in one I'll definitely be there.
Except...I couldn't be.
I couldn't because Apple is an asshole. Matter of fact, this is an issue with all of the streamers. I’ve liked a fair share of the movies that streamers have been making since the trend of streamers making "good movies" started a few years back. The only thing is, I don't understand how they expect me to watch them if I can't see them. Sure, I can watch them at home (and if I have the streaming service) but when you run a movie in theaters for 10 days in limited release that's just doing a disservice to audiences (aka me). This has happened with everyone from Rian Johnson (Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery) to Martin Scorsese (Killers of the Flower Moon). People want to watch these movies in theaters! I bet if you gave them a chance to gain an audience they'd even make some money for you Mr. and Mrs. Streamers.
But I digress.
What I really want to do is give a quick history lesson. I was going to tell the story of my best "getting lost" story, but that can wait for another blog. Instead, I'm dusting off my history teacher cap and giving a crash course on The Blitz (which, if you didn't glean from the title is what this movie is about).
As everyone knows, WWII started when Hitler and the Nazis invaded Poland in September of 1939. It was during this invasion that the term Blitzkrieg was first used to describe the Nazi invasion tactic. Fast-moving tanks and heavy aircraft bombing led to a speedy takeover of Poland, which is why it was called a Blitzkrieg, or "lightning war."
Fast forward to 10 months to July of 1940. This is when the Battle of Britain began. This battle has the distinction of being the first major military campaign to be fought entirely by air forces. This makes sense when you think about it. The first plane from the Wright Brothers was in 1903 (no Google needed on that one btw, no big deal) and while there were planes used in WWI (1914-1918), the tech had advanced dramatically in the years between the wars.
The Battle of Britain dates are disputed, but for the sake of this lesson, I'm going to clump the Battle of Britain and the Blitz together, since they go hand and hand. The Battle of Britain was the Nazi's attempt to destroy Britain's air force and to force a surrender and it's safe to say that it didn't work. That's why, after a few months of fighting, the German air force (the Luftwaffe) began what is now known as the Blitz in September of 1940. The German forces began decreasing their daytime attacks and began systematically bombing London at night, targeting military production plants, airstrips, etc. There was not much the British people could do to combat this so they did what they could by having blackouts every night which made it harder for German planes to know what they were bombing.
The Blitz/The Battle of Britain amounted to 10+ months of continued bombing of London. Did this stop the British? Nope. Their economy didn't fail, their production increased, and their spirits remained higher than they could've, and probably should’ve, been.
A movie about this sounds awesome, doesn't it? I just wish it had been. Blitz was really solid but did not meet my admittedly high expectations
I know that was a long section, but what I find interesting is that whenever there are movies about WWII from the British perspective (Dunkirk, Darkest Hour, etc.) they're usually about the early days of the war, which is not what you learn about much here in America. I know we had the privilege of joining the war late, but it's interesting that the majority of movies about the war from the American perspective that come to mind are all about the later days closer to victory.
Something to think about.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Only a few times, nothing crazy.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 23%
No, But Really: I, and everyone else who cares about movies, had very high expectations for this film. It’s directed by Steve McQueen, it stars Saoirse Ronan, and it’s about the Blitz in London during the early days of WWII. It was all shaping up to be an Oscar favorite, and it turned out to be just okay. Don’t get me wrong, this movie is really solid and I thoroughly enjoyed it for what it was, but it just didn’t live up to expectations. I thought Saoirse was specifically a bright spot overall and her performance stood out to me. I wish I could say the same about the kid actor who is essentially the true main character. He wasn’t bad, and he’s just a kid, but if he had been better the movie overall would’ve been bumped up a bit in my book. Solid WWII drama about the importance of family that is certainly not a bad watch.
The Jerk (1979)
AKA: Steve Martin is black.
I was encouraged to watch this movie for 2 reasons:
I was in the process of watching the 2-Part Steven Martin documentary on Apple TV+ (highly recommend)
My dad happened to recommend this movie at the very same week I was watching the documentary
So, with the universe aligning in those ways, I thought it was only right for me to watch The Jerk. A straight-up comedy that came out in 1979 and made $74 million at the box office. For context, that made it the #8 movie at the box office from that year. For more context, adjusted for inflation, this means that The Jerk made $323 million at the box office, which is preposterous to think about today.
To put that into even more context, that would make The Jerk the #6 movie at the domestic box office from last year. That puts it ahead of Dune: Part 2, which is wild.
This seems to happen whenever I write a 1970s comedy (like Smokey and the Bandit) but the box office returns on these things were crazy! People were really showing out to the theaters back in the day.
I’ve probably written about Steve Martin before, but if I haven’t I’d like to take the next paragraph to do so. The first thing I can remember seeing Steve Martin in is Cheaper by the Dozen, a fantastic movie about Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt having a family with 12 kids. Now, I don’t remember when I first saw Cheaper By the Dozen, but what I do remember is just how struck I was at how white Steve Martin’s hair was. When you’re younger, white/grey hair = old.
One of my best friend’s dad has had white hair my entire life (shoutout Pete), and when I was younger I was convinced he was, like, 25 years older than my dad (he was his counselor back in the day so he can’t be more than 5). Same thing with my uncles. See, most families either go gray or they go bald early. My dad’s side of the family goes a third way.
They go white. (Shoutout Uncle Terry and Uncle Denny)
So while I’ve been used to seeing white hair in my life, Steve Martin has always been 70+ to me because that’s just what I thought white/gray hair meant when I was younger. It didn’t matter that he was only 58 when he was in Cheaper By The Dozen.
White hair = old.
I love Steve Martin and I cannot recommend the documentary about him more.
Also, I really hope I go gray/white and don’t go bald. I’d go gray tomorrow if it meant I didn’t go bald. No disrespect to any of my bald or formally bald readers, I just think that my head is simply so large that if I go bald it’ll look like the moon and it’ll start affecting the tides. However, if I do go bald I could fit in more hats so I guess that would be a plus?
Ranking of characters who thought they were a different race than they actually were:
It’s safe to say that they dealt with this in very different ways.
Navin Johnson (The Jerk)
Clayton Bigsby (Chappelle’s Show)
I’d include the sketch but my grandparents read this thing. So here’s an embedded link instead.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Steve Martin says it while breaking the fourth wall. Quite possibly the best way to say a title in a movie.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: I don’t know what they were doing back in the 1970s but man do I want there to be more movies like this today. I was worried it wouldn't hold up, and maybe it’s just me, but I thought this movie was still hilarious. Steve Martin carries this movie on his back the entire way. The premise is preposterous, but it doesn’t matter, because this movie is purely about being funny. You may be able to take some lessons from it, but at the end of the day, it’s just trying to get a laugh the entire time. Some of the humor is definitely very 1970s, but I still had a really great time watching this.
Dead Poets Society (1989)
AKA: Carpe Diem
Here I am, continuing the trend of watching movies that people cannot believe that I haven’t seen. Right off the top of my head, I’m pretty sure that this was near the top of that list.
And for good reason, because this movie is amazing.
I can’t remember what the reason was, knowing me it was probably something stupid, but I always put this movie on the back burner and never went out of my way to watch it. It may have been because I thought it looked boring, but if I’m being completely honest, it was probably because of my tempestuous relationship with poetry as a middle schooler/early high schooler whidh meant the title scared me away. Like I said, it was most likely a very stupid reason, but part of me is glad that I didn’t watch this movie until now.
Sure, this movie is about high school, but I think it hits a lot harder having already been through high school. This same thing happened with The Breakfast Club with me I watched it in middle school with my family and didn’t get it/didn’t really like it. And then, just a few years later I watched it in 2018 when I was a sophomore/junior and absolutely loved it, totally understood it, and saw myself in the characters.
Something I’ve learned to appreciate as I’ve watched more movies is just how good Robin Williams was. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how Bill Murray is the best of his generation when it came to making the switch from comedy to drama so seamlessly, but as I give more thought to it, I think Robin Williams really gives him a run for his money. He’s perfect in this movie.
I had some pretty great teachers that Mr. Keating reminded me of, and I think that whenever I rewatch this movie in the future I’ll continue to remember these teachers because that’s what a good teacher can do. The lessons they taught you and the support they gave you to follow your passions stick with you forever. Shoutout to all of the teachers out there who support their students and help them out. To all the bad teachers out there (you know who you are): fuck you, be better.
Quick thing:
You know what always sketched me out as a kid?
Boarding schools.
I never understood the appeal, unless you were a wizard and got to go to Hogwarts. I think it was because I knew I’d get homesick, but I’m glad I never went to boarding school, especially after hearing all about it from my friends at college. Shoutout Martin and Cam. Hearing about your heinous boarding school experiences, specifically in that cramped hotel room in Guatemala, scarred me for life and further solidified my relief that I never went to one. Does that make me a pussy? I’ll leave that up to you guys. You didn’t hear the stories I heard.
I just wish I could have gone to Hogwarts.
Mount Rushmore of Pop Culture Teachers:
Mr. Keating (Dead Poets Society)
Oh captain, my captain. That’s all I need to say.
Mr. Escalante (Stand and Deliver)
As much as I love Edward James Olmos in this film, there will always be another version that sticks with me more.
How do I reach these keeeeeeeds?
Mr. Schneebly* (School of Rock)
Technically it’s Mr. Finn, but that’s neither here nor there. Sure, he wasn’t the most conventional and he was lying the entire time so he could get paid, but damn if he didn’t connect with those kids and teach them a lot about themselves.
Ms. Frizzle (Magic School Bus)
Talk about unconventional methods. The only TV teacher on this Mount Rushmore, but she earned it. She’s one of the best to ever do it.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: I had no idea how they’d incorporate it because I didn’t know anything about this movie. They proceeded to say it numerous times.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 1500%
No, But Really: I can see why this is a popular pick for people’s favorite movie of all time. Simply put, Robin Williams pitches a perfect game in this. He’s spectacular, and the cast of high school students (including a young Ethan Hawke) is really solid too. It’s a great high school movie, a fantastic coming-of-age movie, and it makes you feel young again. I couldn’t recommend it more and I’m mad it took me this long to watch it. This made me want to start writing a new blog right away. Seize the day!
-50th blog
—Next stop: 100
—-I need to make these shorter
——-The NBA All-Star game sucked
———-Go USA hockey