Issue #66: Getting Taco Bell in Yellowstone National Park.
Bears love Crunchwrap Supremes.
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Just a quick breakdown of the blog for any new readers:
I ramble for a bit and give an update on my life and what I’m thinking about this week
I talk about the movies I watched recently (usually in the last week, but I’m still catching up)
I do some rankings, ask some hypothetical questions (ex: what are the chances my dad cries while watching this movie?), and then I give my no-frills, no-jokes review
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Hey guys, Will here. I’m here to apologize, yet again, for not getting a single blog out last week. There’s no excuse other than being tired from work and procrastinating. Also, it’s so much easier to watch things than to write about them for hours.
But guess what?
We’re back, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to muster up enough energy and sleepless hours to get a 2nd blog out on Friday. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Today, we’re talking about Yellowstone.
No, not the show. I haven’t seen a single second of the Kevin Costner vehicle, but I found out embarrassingly recently that it’s called Yellowstone because the ranch in the show is called Yellowstone. I thought it was a show about the National Park for the longest time. Hell, it could still be about the National Park, how would I know? Who cares.
Anyway, let’s talk about my Memorial Day weekend in the country’s oldest National Park.
My Journey to Yellowstone.
My travel day started after work on Friday. We had a half day, which is great and all, but it also makes you wake up, go into work for 4 hours, and think to yourself: why was I here at all today? All that matters is that we got off work at 1:00 that day. After walking home, eating lunch, and packing my bag, I was off to the airport yet again.
If you read my blog a few weeks ago about my sister’s graduation, you read about my new parking hack at LAX. Well, hack is kind of a stretch, considering it’s a 1.5-mile walk from this parking spot to the terminal, but I’ll take a 1.5-mile walk over paying $150 for parking any day. Plus, I get to walk by the famous In-N-Out that planes fly over, and marvel at the 50-car line that stretches around the block, regardless of what hour of the day it is.
My flight took off at 6:00 pm and landed at 9:30 pm. The grand plan was to get dinner once I landed and got to my hotel motel. My smartest plan? Probably not, but when you’ve gone on multiple road trips, stayed at countless shitty motels, and eaten lunchables for dinner numerous times as a 23-year old, you get used to dumb plans like that.
After renting my first car at the airport (milestone!) I made the drive from Bozeman, MT, to Livingston, MT. If you’ve never heard of Livingston, I wouldn’t blame you, considering there’s…nothing there. Well, I shouldn’t say “nothing”, considering the Super 8 that I stayed in was located in the town. Dinner that night? The only place within a 40-mile radius that was open at 11:00 pm on a Friday: Taco Bell. One Crunchwrap Supreme, 5 chicken nuggets later, and I was feeling ready for Yellowstone.
Here was my plan: wake up at 5:30, shower, get dressed, grab complimentary breakfast from the lobby, and drive straight the 2.5 hours to Old Faithful so I’d get there before the crowds did. Well, after eating Taco Bell at 11:00 pm and going to sleep at 12:30, I managed to wake up to my first alarm and proceeded to fall back asleep till 8:30.
No matter, I’d seen my best-laid plans deal with setbacks before. The plan remained the same, just pushed back by a couple hours.
Thankfully, I had packed my bag the night before. Only the essentials of course:
Sunglasses
Hoodie
Disposable Camera
2 apples
1 banana
1 protein bar
1 breakfast bar
1 nut bar
1/2 bag of baby carrots
1 footlong sandwich purchased from the grocery store across the street from the Super 8 (for lunch)
1/2 bag of unslated, unroasted almonds (I’m a psycho)
Portable charger
Like I said, only the essentials.
I also made sure to download 6 podcasts before leaving. Then, after an hour drive, I was in Yellowstone National Park. Let me tell you, and I might be the first person to ever say this, brace yourselves…
Yellowstone is pretty spectacular.
Groundbreaking analysis is what you read and subscribe to the blog for, so groundbreaking analysis is what you get. In all honesty, though, Yellowstone is the granddaddy of them all when it comes to National Parks and is one of those places you simply have to try to get to in your life. I purposely skipped it on my cross-country drive because I knew we’d be doing this trip, so I’m very thankful that I was able to go at all, considering I’ve got a job now. (Trips are much harder to plan once you have a job, I’ve discovered).
First stop in Yellowstone was the Grand Prismatic Spring. I saw it from the ground first, and it was alright. Then, I hiked and saw it from above; wow.
The next stop was Old Faithful. If you aren’t aware, Yellowstone is quite large (8th biggest US National Park), so driving to places takes some time, and that’s not even including the stoppages for Bison crossing the road. I got to Old Faithful, or, rather, the Old Faithful parking lot, at 12:35. It was like I was at Disneyworld. A full hour of driving through wilderness with no internet connection, and out of nowhere, you stumble upon hotels, parking lots as big as oceans, and tourists galore (as if I weren’t a tourist myself).
Thankfully, I was able to find parking by 12:50. I checked the Old Faithful tracker, and, lucky me, it was scheduled to go off at 12:51. I scrambled to the entrance, ready to see this magnificent geyser erupt, and as I lifted my eyes the crowds were already walking back out to the parking lot to their cars. 3 minutes earlier and I would’ve made it. What is one to do? Well, as Bear Grylls says:
Improvise by going to the cafeteria and eating your lunch, consisting of half a footlong that has been sitting in your backpack all morning and plain almonds.
Adapt by using the 2+ hours you have to wait for Old Faithful to go off again by doing the entire Upper Geyser Basin hike.
Overcome by getting a spot with a good view of Old Faithful and waiting for that sucker to erupt.
For a geyser called Old Faithful, you’d think they’d know when it was going to erupt down to the second. This is not the case. +/- 10 minutes on every estimate. They had me standing by Old Faithful with my camera at the ready for 15 minutes until it erupted.
In the end, Old Faithful was a success, albeit a 3-hour detour success. No matter. What else did I have to do? See more of Yellowstone? Oh yeah, I did have to do that.
Next stop: West Thumb/Yellowstone Lake.
What’s cool about Yellowstone, and I told my family this before they were able to go after I went back to LA, is that the park is almost like 3 parks in 1.
1/3 is geysers and hot springs, 1/3 is canyon/waterfalls/lake, and 1/3 is open land as far as the eye can see.
All of it is beautiful, and seeing it all in 1 day is unbelievable. For context, here is what I did in one day. I came in through the North Entrance and did the whole loop. Except I made it a 0 instead of an 8:
After the Lake, I made a turn northwards towards the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. A nice hike along the North Basin gave me great views of the Yellowstone River and the waterfall that cuts through the canyon.
It also chose to be the place where the sky decided to split open and start pouring. It was a great way to cool off, but I certainly wasn’t expecting it to hail like it did. I’m familiar with bipolar people and weather, but going from 70 and sunny one second to hailing the next is a swing you don’t see very often.
Thankfully, after a short downpour, the sun came out again as I continued my tour through Yellowstone. After the Grand Canyon, I made my way to Tower Falls, where I did a hike down to the Yellowstone River before hiking right back up. The next stop was a traffic jam in the upper section of the park. The cause of the stoppage? Supposedly a black bear, but the bear was either very fast, very small, or invisible, because I didn’t see a thing. I did see some Bison on the side of the road that I stopped to take some pics of though:
Big chillers.
At this point, it was close to 6:30, and I had one last stop to make. I had completed my loop and ended up at the Mammoth Hot Springs, the first section of the park I had driven through earlier that day.
As the sun started to set, I did a quick hike through the hot springs before making my way out of the park.
Fast forward an hour and a half, and I was back at my humble abode, the Super 8 motel. My dinner on Saturday night?
A Beef Stir-Fry Lean Cuisine
5 leftover Taco Bell chicken nuggets
1/2 bag of baby carrots
1/2 family-size bag of Skinny Pop
and 1/2 of a Twix bar.
A feast fit for a king, if I’ve ever had one.
Final Stats of my time in Yellowstone:
1 Big Yellowstone loop completed
~147 Miles Driven
14 Miles Hiked
30,000 Steps Taken
1 Very Sore Hip Acquired
6 Podcasts Listened To (at 1.2x speed)
4-5 Hours of Music listened to (at regular speed)
2 Apples, 1 Banana, 1 Breakfast Bar, 1 Protein Bar, and 1/2 Sandwich eaten
3 Buffalo that walked right next to my car
1 Invisible Black Bear
26th National Park visited in total, and 23rd this year (but who’s counting).
Next blog’s introduction will be all about my time in Grand Teton National Park, so stay tuned.
Flag Rankings
If you need to remind yourself of the rankings so far, check them out here:
100% Accurate Official Flag Rankings
Today, I’m clumping together 5 flags into a group I’m calling “2 People Standing Next to Each Other”. We’re also continuing the trend of Northeast states having terrible flags (and our first Midwest state).
West Virginia
There’s simply too much going on here. I thought the two guys were standing in front of a roasted turkey before I did further examination and discovered it was a rock. Plus, can you read that date on the rock without zooming in? That’s what I thought.
Bad flag.
Delaware
Flags that have the state name on them get a demerit. What about flags that don’t have a name on them but have a random date in its place? That’s what we have here with Delaware. Sure, the date is when Delaware became the first state, but did you know that before I just told you? I’d rank this higher if it didn’t have that date on there.
New Jersey
Of the bottom flags, the New Jersey flag is unique in its color. Back in the day (the 1700s) this sucker must have popped. Most other flags were blue or white, and here you have a yellow one. Despite its uniqueness, this flag still blows. This time it’s two women standing next to…boats, I think? Yet again, with all of these, the seal is both too much and too small at the same time.
New York
At #45, we’ve got New Jersey’s big brother: New York. While I can appreciate the text they put on this flag, it doesn’t make up for the inclusion of yet another seal, this time with two women standing next to…boats again! New York pretty much just took everything New Jersey did and made it better, including with its flag. Still a bottom-tier design though.
Wisconsin
I know I said earlier that if a flag has the state name on it, it would be ranked lower. This is still true, but I kind of fuck with the Wisconsin flag despite it. Does it need the name or year on it? No, and the inclusion of both sinks its ranking dramatically. The seal is also a LOT, but it’s unique because it’s the only state flag with a badger on it, which earns it a higher ranking than the other “2 guys standing next to each other” flags. It also explains why the University of Wisconsin’s mascot is a badger (the more you know). This flag also feels more modern than the others ranked behind it, which I can appreciate.
That’s all we’ve got for today. Tune back in to the next blog for #43 and #42. I promise we’ll get to some actual good flags soon.
I made a new website. It’s basically the same as the old Vault, but it’s been given a makeover, and the movies and documentaries I watched in 2024 are available as well. If you check it out, please give me suggestions on how I can make it better. And let me know if there are any issues I need to fix.
Check it out here!
Alright, on to the blog.
Movies count for the year: 79
Doc count for the year: 9
Total movie count on the blog: 299
300 if you count this blog!
Keeping Movie Theaters Alive
Go see these.
Mission: Impossible - Final Reckoning (2025)
AKA: Tom Cruise is movie Jesus.
Tom Cruise is a madman.
This is not a crazy take in the year 2025, but I feel that I must reiterate it in case anyone forgot. I mean, the stuff he does in this movie (primarily in the last act) is truly unbelievable. I have no idea how they filmed it, and I don't know how the guy hasn't died doing a stunt yet. Maybe, and this is just a theory, he hasn't died doing a stunt because he is actually movie Jesus (or whatever the Jesus equivalent is in Scientology, an alien-bug creature perhaps?).
Hear me out.
The year is 2005. I am 4 years old, and the movie War of the Worlds (directed by Steven Spielberg) is coming out. Tom Cruise is on Oprah. I think you know where I'm going with this, but (spoiler alert) Tom jumped on a couch.
That was 20 years ago now.
20 years ago, after the couch jumping incident, Tom Cruise was in a weird spot. Sure, he was still a huge movie star, but he wasn't as big as he was in the 80s and 90s, and he was one of the most widely criticized actors in Hollywood. His career was in flux. Steven Spielberg, a director with whom he'd worked multiple times, stopped collaborating with him because he was a huge weirdo about Scientology and outwardly spoke against him.
But Tom continued at it. He divorced his 3rd wife, he stopped acting in non-Mission: Impossible or Top Gun movies, and he committed himself fully to completing bigger and better stunts, all in an attempt to save movies.
Ok, now allow me to commit some blasphemy and bring up another guy who had his fair share of miracles and whose mission, whether he chose to accept it or not, was to save humanity...Jesus.
Jesus of Nazareth walked on water, turned water into wine (unreal party trick if you ever get a chance to pull this one off), and fed thousands of people with just 5 fish and 2 loaves of bread. He was persecuted for his beliefs, crucified, and then came back to life, and after he came out of that cave, you could argue that he became more powerful than ever.
Let's look at the similarities between Jesus and Movie Jesus:
Tom Cruise held his breath for 6 minutes in a movie (the underwater equivalent of walking on water), has jumped out of planes (also a great party trick), and supposedly eats 2 buckets of popcorn whenever he sees a movie (hell yeah, brother). He was persecuted for being a psycho and for his admittedly insane beliefs (scientologists, please don't come after me), his career was crucified, and then he came back to life and reached his purest form by flying fighter jets in Top Gun: Maverick. You could also argue that he’s become more powerful than ever (I know he was more popular in the 90s, but bear with me while I attempt to land this plane (pun intended)).
Tom Cruise has anointed himself movie Jesus. He's one of the only "true" movie stars left, and he's doing things that no human, let alone a 62-year-old human, should be doing. Personal life aside (and that’s a lot to put aside), the guy just loves movies and cinema in general. He champions film like it's his sole purpose in life. And just like how the Romans persecuted Jesus before ultimately adopting Christianity, after Top Gun: Maverick saved movie theaters post-COVID, even Steven Spielberg came back around and had to give Tom props for the work he's done for the art form.
That analogy probably needed a bit longer in the oven, but I’ll stand by it. Did it even make sense at all? Who’s to say?
And to be clear, in case there was some confusion, unlike the Romans converting to Christianity, Steven Spielberg is still very much Jewish, Tom Cruise is still very much a Scientologist, and I still very much like watching movies made by them both.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: If my memory serves, they do say “Final Reckoning,” but I don’t remember because I was too focused on Tom Cruise hanging off a plane.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 99%
No, But Really: My expectations for this movie were through the roof, and while they weren’t entirely met, this movie is still really solid. I don’t think it’s as bad as some people are making it out to be AT ALL. The first hour is certainly a bit slow, but the action set pieces in the 2nd half of this movie rival any action set piece you’ve ever seen. It was always going to be hard to make a “finale” for this franchise, but I think they did a pretty good job. Is it the best Mission: Impossible? No, but the fact that it’s such a high bar to clear shows how consistently great this franchise has been for almost 30 years.
Running It Back
We’re slowly closing in on finally finishing the movies I watched in 2024. Only 6 months late.
Game Night (2018)
AKA: Rachel McAdams in this movie is my dream woman.
I love game night. Growing up, and to this day, I loved playing board games with my family, even if it typically devolved into at least one person getting angry that they lost and definitely not complaining about it (my family is very competitive). Pictionary, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Connect 4, you name it, we played it. Now, I don't know if you count puzzles in the board game genre, but if you do, then that's in my Mount Rushmore. Legend has it, they're still talking about my post-wisdom teeth surgery puzzling performance, where I completed a 1000-piece puzzle high out of my mind with my mouth filled with gauze while watching TV on my computer:
Major apologies for the jump scare just now.
It's not just family game nights with my parents and sister, though. I've got countless memories of extended family game nights playing Uno, Hollander's Poker, Spoons, charades, Trivial Pursuit, Double/Triple/Quadruple Solitaire, and more. Let’s not forget the great times I had at school doing game nights with my friends. Some of them may or may not have included an alcohol element, but regardless of whether we'd had a couple of drinks or were stone-cold sober, game nights were always a fun time.
We'd play Hitster (a game that I bet 99% of you haven’t heard of) as a pre-game before a party, then we’d go to the party, and then we'd end the night by playing Hitster till like 3 in the morning. And don't let me forget to mention the numerous Gensmak! bouts we had, or the trivia nights in general (where my friend Buch and I were the Trivia Masters). All in all, I simply love a game night, and I think we as a society need to get together and (board)game with each other more.
Invite your friends over, pick a game or two, and shoot the shit for a few hours. You never know how many game nights you have left in your life, so don't let a good one pass you by.
Real quick, before we move on:
1. This movie has Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams in it (2 of my favorite actors, full stop).
2. This movie is full of game, movie, and pop culture references (which account for about 75% of the words that I speak on a daily basis and about 95% of my personality as a whole).
3. Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams’ characters meet at a bar trivia night (which is the dream).
4. I've been waiting to put this scene of the movie in the blog since I watched this movie 7 months ago, purely because of what Jason Bateman says after Rachel McAdams quotes Pulp Fiction:
I love film too, Jason. I love film too.
Ranking of Board Games:
This was my “Top 10” for my Wake Forest application, verbatim. I also just spent 20 minutes trying to find it on my computer. If you disagree with my ranking, that means you think I shouldn’t have gotten into college. I also had a 200-word limit (something that has clearly not stuck with me if you’ve ever read this blog).
10. Candyland--One of the first games I remember playing, an instant classic.
9. Connect Four--I played every day in elementary school, and I’m basically unbeatable.
8. Trivial Pursuit--I can never beat my Dad, but this game helped lead to my love for random trivia.
7. Clue--When I think of this game, I think of my grandparents and playing with them as a kid.
6. Pictionary--One of the games that my family plays regularly. Kids vs. adults is always a battle
5. Jigsaw puzzles--I could spend hours just doing puzzles, especially with my mom and my grandma.
4. Poker--I’ve been playing Texas Hold ‘Em with my friends for years.
3. Solitaire--Double and triple solitaire with my grandma and my aunt every year at Thanksgiving.
2. Parcheesi--Another family favorite that I associate with game night with my grandparents
1. Monopoly--I’ve played games that lasted weeks so we had to leave the game set out. Touching it was a crime.
Author’s Note: 18-year-old me was very different than 23-year-old me. My ranking now is:
Monopoly (was #1)
Puzzles (was #5)
Connect Four (was #9)
Pictionary (was #6)
Solitaire (was #3)
Trivia Pursuit (was #8)
Clue (was #7)
Parcheesi (was #2)
Poker (was #4)
Candyland (was #10)
Thank you for your time.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Yessir.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 3%
No, But Really: One of the better studio comedies of the last decade in my eyes. Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams can do absolutely no wrong in my book, and when you put them with a great ensemble in a crime/comedy caper, I will be in 100% of the time. This is a great movie for a laugh, a family movie night, or a date night. Jesse Plemons also gives one of the creepiest/funniest performances ever. Give this one a watch if you haven’t already. I couldn't recommend it more.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
AKA: The most uniquely British movie of all time.
If you've read this blog before, then you know how I feel about Guy Ritchie. I love his movies. Well, not Guy Ritchie as a whole, because I don't like all of his movies, but when Guy Ritchie is at his Britishest, that's when he's the best. And this, his feature-length directorial debut, might be his most British movie ever.
I'm not British, I've never been British, and I don't plan on becoming British, but man, do I love some of the stuff the British have made. I love their music (Beatles, Stones, Who, Led Zeppelin, Clash, etc.), I love the movies they've made there, and the filmmakers from the island. And if you've read the blog before, then I'm sure you know how I feel about the Great British Baking Show (I’ve seen every episode). Do I love how they used to be the biggest empire in the world, spreading Imperialism throughout the globe despite being a tiny island? No, but no one's perfect. Plus, their food isn't very good.
We've talked extensively here at the blog about Jason Statham, but I need to shout him out because Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels was his first movie. It came out 27 years ago, and he looks pretty much the same, bald head and everything.
*Editor’s note: An original draft of this section mentioned that Jason Statham has a full head of hair in this movie. Then the author looked at the movie poster and realized he was an idiot. He begged me, the editor, to fix it, but I had to mention his near slip-up.*
What else can I say about this movie? It's movies at 100 miles a minute, it’s smash mouth, and it’s an absolute trip. In other words, it's awesome. You'll probably need subtitles at certain points, but that's just part of the charm. Best part about it? Watch Ritchie's 2nd film, Snatch, right after it. It's somewhat of a quasi-sequel. Except that one has Brad Pitt playing a gypsy.
Without context, those last couple of sentences sound like Madlibs.
The Mount Rushmore Scafell Pike of British Movies:
**Editor’s Note: Scafell Peak is the tallest peak in England at 3,209 feet. Sorry, but we’re not actually in England. I’m still gonna use feet.**
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)/Snatch (2000)
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Flushed Away (2006) (or any Aardman film)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Not included because it’s the most Scottish movie of all time: Trainspotting (1996)
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: They do, and I can’t believe they managed to slip it in as flawlessly as they do.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: This is one of the movies I like to return to year after year. I’m a big fan of early Guy Ritchie (and Guy Ritchie in general), so the extreme Britishness of this movie is right up my alley. It’s a frenetic, wild ride that may require closed captions from time to time (the accents are strong with this one). I think it’s a pretty great watch with solid humor, action, and a blend of a bunch of genres I love. It may not be for everyone, but I’d still recommend it to anyone at least once.
Movies at Home
Inching ever closer to having no life.
The Equalizer III (2024)
AKA: Man on Fire 2
After covering The Equalizer II in the last blog, today we complete the trilogy with The Equalizer III. Now, The Equalizer and The Equalizer II reminded me of movies such as John Wick and Man on Fire. The Equalizer III, on the other hand? The first movies that came to mind were The Talented Mr. Ripley, Luca (yes, the children's Pixar film), and, of course, Man on Fire. I'll cover the Man on Fire connection first. I watched Man on Fire back in 2024 and wrote about it in September. That movie, of course, stars Denzel Washington as a one-man killing machine and Dakota Fanning as the little girl he cares for and protects. The Equalizer III is a reunion 20 years in the making, with Denzel and Dakota Fanning sharing the screen again. Different roles, of course, but it's always cool when stuff like that happens.
**Author's Note: Dakota Fanning in Man on Fire, still a top 5-10 child acting performance of all time. Guess what? She's still pretty damn good.**
Now that we've covered Man on Fire, I can get to the other movies that came to mind when watching this movie: The Talented Mr. Ripley and Luca. There is a common thread between these three movies, and it's not Matt Damon being a sociopathic killer or the inclusion of sea monsters who turn into humans when they come out of the water.
No, the common thread is that all of these movies are set in Southern Italy, aka the best place on Earth? I wouldn't know, since I haven't been there, but good lord, it looks like an amazing place to visit/live (as long as you're not Jude Law in TTMR, of course). Let me put it this way: the success rate of a movie that is set in Southern Italy is way higher than a movie that's not set in Southern Italy. I'm not saying it always makes a movie better, but can you think of an example of a movie that didn't work when it was set in Southern Italy? No?
Me neither.
It's also what helps make this movie the best in The Equalizer trilogy (in my humble opinion).
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Nope. Not once in the franchise do they utter the word “Equalizer”. A missed opportunity, if you ask me.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 47%
No, But Really: This is far and away the best Equalizer movie. The story is very complete, Denzel is a total badass (per usual), and the mafia is involved. Also, setting the movie in Italy automatically makes this movie better than the previous two. All of these movies are pretty fun and mindless, so it’s a great watch for any action fans looking for Denzel to go hero mode on some bad guys. You can’t really go wrong.
Franchise Mode
Tom Cruise and the Quest for the Perfect Stunt 4.0
You can catch up by reading about:
Today’s Stunt?
Climbing the Burj Khalifa (as one does).
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
AKA: Cranking it up a notch.
We've reached entry #4 in the Mission: Impossible franchise. Did I ruin it by writing about the newest one before finishing writing about the ones that came before it? Potentially, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. Also, if that “Movie Jesus” talk earlier wasn't your jam, do not be afraid (little bible reference there for you guys). In this section, we're going to be talking about the king of failed franchise takeovers:
Mr. Jeremy Renner.
I gotta say right off the bat, I think Jeremy Renner gets a bad wrap. I don't think people give him the respect he deserves as an actor at all, and one look at his filmography will make you realize that. But we'll go over that in a little bit. First, we gotta talk about Renner being the perpetual "almost-was" guy. 2 times in 2 consecutive years, (and I guess I could've/should've waited to talk about this when we got to the Bourne franchise), Jeremy Renner was called upon to take over a franchise. In 2011, it was Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol. In 2012, it was The Bourne Legacy. Both times, he was called in to be a bridge between the franchise's previous star (Tom Cruise and Matt Damon, respectively) and both times the franchise's previous star say "fuck that" and proceeded to take back the reins and never let them go.
I cannot even comprehend how brutal that's gotta be. When that happens the first time, it definitely hurts. But it's Tom Cruise. There was no way he was gonna give up his baby. The second time, though? I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy (ok, maybe my worst enemy, but still). What makes things even tougher, is that, despite being in the MCU and a large part of numerous billion dollar films, Renner will forever be remembered as Hawkeye, who, despite getting a bad wrap (just like Renner), frankly just isn't as cool as Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, or Black Widow. He's just not, and it's not his fault he was given such a tough situation.
It'd be like being the 6th man on the Dream Team. Sure, you're one of the best in the world, but you're also Patrick Ewing and never won a title.
Tough break.
Quick Acknowledgement of Jeremy Renner being underrated as hell. Look at this guy's filmography:
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) —on the watchlist
28 Weeks Later (2007) —next up on the watchlist
The Hurt Locker (2009) —Best Picture Winner, Best Actor Nominee
The Town (2010)—Best Supporting Actor Nominee
MI: Ghost Protocol (2011)
The Avengers (2012)—12th highest-grossing film of all time
Bourne Legacy (2012)—sneaky really good
MI: Rogue Nation (2015) -- in the next blog
Captain America: Civil War (2016) —top 4 MCU movie IMO
Arrival (2016) —one of the best movies I watched last year
Wind River (2017) —criminally underrated
Avengers: Endgame (2019) —the biggest movie event of all time
That's a pretty damn good 12 years if you ask me. Also, crazy that he has been able to make a comeback so quickly after that snowplow accident a couple years ago. Unbelievable stuff.
Ranking of Brad Bird Movies:
Let’s play: One of these things is not like the other!
The Incredibles
Ratatouille
The Iron Giant
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
The Incredibles II
Not Included in Ranking: Tomorrowland
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: I think they actually do say ‘Ghost Protocol’. Automatically makes the movie better.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 23%
No, But Really: This is where the Mission: Impossible movies took it a step up. The jump from #3 to this one is crazy. This is in the top half of the franchise as a whole, and might sneak in at #3 on a good day. It’s also the last non-Christopher McQuarrie-directed film in the franchise, which gives it a slightly different feel compared to the more recent movies. Worth the watch for any action movie fan for sure.
-The Orioles are dogshit.
—Pink Pony Club
—-I like nature
——Work takes up a lot of my time
——-I still love da movies
