Issue #52: Doing My Best William Henry Harrison Impression.
I'll wear a coat next time.
Welcome back, everybody!
Just a quick breakdown of the blog for any new readers:
I ramble for a bit and give an update on my life and what I’m thinking about this week
I talk about the movies I watched recently (usually in the last week but I’m still catching up)
I do some rankings, ask some hypothetical questions (ex: what are the chances my dad cries while watching this movie?), and then I give my no frills, no jokes review
We ignore grammar errors here at the blog. Give me a break.
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Let me get ahead of it. I didn’t get a blog out yesterday, and for that I’m sorry. Sunday night I spent catching up on sleep and Monday night I spent…catching up on sleep. Why I need to catch up on sleep is beyond me, but that’s that.
Holy shit, I could not believe the reaction I got from last week’s blog. Overall, I’d say that the split was about 80/20 on my take that 5’ 11” is the worst height. People who are 5’ 11” were coming out of the woodwork to let me know if they agreed with my take or vehemently disagreed. Like I said, it was about an 80/20 split on this front. 80% of people said I absolutely nailed it. It’s a great feeling when you know you nailed a take, packed it full of scientific evidence, charts/tables, etc., and released that take into the wild to the masses. I knew I’d get some people agreeing with me, but I never expected to hear back from so many people on the matter.
To those of you who agreed with my opinion, I stand with you and support you…
just from 1 1/4 inches closer to the ground of course.
To those of you who disagreed with my take, I just want to say that I never said anything bad about the height. Many of you took my blog as an attack on your height, a case of Napoleon disorder on my part, perhaps. That could not be farther from the truth. I was using this platform to attempt to empathize with you all living in height purgatory. I was merely trying to get your plight out into the public consciousness so that more people would be aware of it.
It was by far the most I’ve heard back about a blog. Before last week, the most feedback I got was on my take that pocketless shorts should be banned for eternity. This idea for a ban was in an effort to give women shorts with pockets and because pocketless shorts make no sense.
It’s great to see that I can still move the needle.
I mentioned last week that I discussed the ideal height while I was on set doing background acting. This conversation took place sometime between the hours of 4:00 pm and 3:00 am while everyone on set attempted to stay warm and dry as cold rain soaked the set throughout the night. It was my first night shoot, and it was certainly a unique experience; but not much different than a day shoot.
When I got to check in at 4:00 pm they served us breakfast (they actually called it this). Breakfast was hot dogs, burgers, chili, chicken wings, salad, fruit, sandwiches, etc. All buffet style and all pretty great. Then, after taking shuttle buses to set, which was a high school football field (I was part of the crowd at a football game) we alternated between shooting scenes in the stands and sitting in the parking garage underneath the stands for the next 7 hours. The key to these jobs is bringing headphones, a water bottle, and a book. I bring my computer as well just in case they have wifi, but most of the time you’re shit out of luck, and if you don’t have a book (or podcasts to listen to) you’re fucked.
So, after 7 hours of waiting around, we got lunch at 11:30 pm. “Lunch” consisted of pasta, mashed potatoes, rice, chicken, fish, brisket, vegetables, salad, fruit, dessert, and more. Again, all buffet style. Again, all pretty great. If the food during these gigs is bad it makes the experience 10x worse. Good food makes everything better. After lunch, it was another 3.5 hours of waiting around mixed with the occasional scene we were included in. Around 1:00 am they started serving more chicken wings to anyone who wanted them. Thankfully, they had clamshell boxes so I took some wings home for lunch and dinner the next day.
That’s another key to being on set. The first key is not being an asshole. The second is not being an asshole when you take the free food they have at craft services. Similar to the question, “Why do people climb Mount Everest?” The reason you take the free food at craft services?
Because it’s there.
My haul from this night shoot included:
3 oranges
2 apples
1 banana
2 granola bars
18 chicken wings
Trust me, this didn’t even make a dent. On their end, they’ve got more food than they know what to deal with. On my end, paying for produce is expensive. It’s a no-loss situation for all the parties involved. I come away with some fruit and a meal or two, they come away with some football scenes with a guy in the crowd doing his best William Henry Harrison impression.
For those of you who are not aware of the history of the United States and do not understand that reference, allow me to explain.
We’ve had 47 presidents.
Of those 47; 45 unique ones (Grover Cleveland and Trump split their terms up).
Of those 45 presidents; 8 have died in office.
Of those 8; 4 were assassinated.
Of those 4; 1 was assassinated in his first year in office (James Garfield).
James Garfield’s term as president lasted 200 days. This is, obviously, a very short time to serve as president. What makes it even crazier is that 80 of those 200 days were after his assassination attempt! He probably could have lived, but the doctors who treated him after he was shot totally fucked it up. It was also 1881, so that might have also been a factor.
Sorry, I got sidetracked. Back to my main point.
James Garfield’s term as president lasted 200 days. If we subtract the 80 days he spent dying from a bullet wound, that leaves us with 120 days he spent serving. That’s pretty damn short, but it doesn’t compare to the length of William Henry Harrison’s term:
32 days.
WHH served as president for little over a month, a record that hopefully is never broken.
Why did he only last 32 days? You may ask. This is where my comparison comes in. Remember that comparison I made all the way back up there? That was an allusion to how WHH treated his inauguration. See, WHH’s inauguration was on March 4, 1841 (he died on April 4). It was a cold and rainy day, but WHH chose not to wear a hat or an overcoat. He also chose to ride on horseback to the ceremony. Oh, and then he followed this up by delivering the longest inauguration speech in history. It was more than 8,000 words and took him over 2 hours to give.
Sounds like one of these blogs, am I right?
Not wearing a coat while he gave this marathon of a speech led to him getting pneumonia and dying just a month later.
Which is where I come back in.
No, I’m not sick with pneumonia and I’m healthy (knock on wood). But when I was standing in the cold rain for hours on end with nothing but a thin hoodie and a vest that the costume department gave me, I couldn’t help but think of our 9th president and the choices he made when faced with the same scenario. The difference between me and him is that he had a coat to wear but chose not to wear it. When moving to California I didn’t even think of the possibility that it might rain or be cold from time to time.
Which means that I don’t have a raincoat. Or any kind of coat for that matter.
Thankfully it was 85 and sunny yesterday so I think I’ll be alright.
Let’s get to the blog.
I made a new website. It’s basically the same as the old Vault, but it’s been given a makeover and the movies and documentaries I watched in 2024 are now available as well. If you check it out please give me suggestions on how I can make it better. And let me know if there are any issues I need to fix.
Check it out here!
Alright, on to the blog.
Movies count for the year: 38
Doc count for the year: 6
Keeping Movie Theaters Alive
Go see these (if they’re still out).
Dog Man (2025)
AKA: Dog cop. Dog cop.
Growing up, I was a huge reader. This was due to a combination of factors:
1. I wasn't allowed to have any video games
2. I wasn't allowed to watch TV/movies after a certain time
3. I was pretty good at it
3. I had nothing else to do
For as much hell as I gave my parents for not letting me have video games when literally every single one of my friends had them (the FOMO I had because I didn't have a DS is incomparable to anything else I've ever felt in my life), I'm glad they encouraged me to read because I still do it every night before I go to bed. It's not as much as I used to, but considering I've got friends who haven't read a book since elementary school, I'm chalking the reading I do up as a win.
Anyway, some of my favorite books as a kid were everyone's favorites as a kid: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Roald Dahl collection, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, etc. But won of my absolute favorite series was Captain Underpants. They were by Dav Pilkey, who also rote Dog Man. I must have reread the Captain Underpants books at least 25 times back in the day. The number of laffs I got out of names like Professor Poopypants and Professor Tinkletrousers (didn't have two look either of those up bye the way) is more than I can count. Something I distinctly remember from back then is my Mom making sure I knew that the grammar used in Captain Underpants wasn't accurate. For anyone hoo is unaware, these books are written as if the author were a 4th grader, fit with comic book-like panels and misspellings galore. I red these books so much that I guess my mom was worried that it would effect my spelling and grammer.
Now, I never red the Dog Man books, but they have the same artistic style as Captain Underpants, so I felt right at home because this movie looks like it came right out of Dav Pilkey's sketchbook. Overall, it was a lot of fun and made me nostalgic for those books I red so many years ago.
I'm just glad that the pour spelling and grammer didn't effect me like my mom thought they mite.
Editor’s Note: I almost just had a stroke trying to reread that. I don’t know what the author was thinking.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: Plenty.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: This movie was a lot of fun. I think there was some disconnect because I haven’t read the Dog Man books, but it has the distinct Dav Pilkey style (Captain Underpants, etc.) and felt like one of his books. While this worked for me pretty well, I wouldn’t consider it very rewatchable for me personally, but for kids, especially ones who are familiar with the source material, I bet it’s an absolute homerun.
One Of Them Days (2025)
AKA: Friday, but in the 21st century.
Just a couple of weeks ago I wrote about the mid-budget comedy, comparing it to an endangered animal. Well, folks, it looks like the mid-budget comedy hasn't completely gone the way of the dodo just yet! One of Them Days has already made more than double its budget and it's gotten great reviews from critics and audiences alike. It's a small step, but like the Winter Warlock and Santa Claus say:
Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out that door.
One of the cool things about living in Los Angeles is that there are a lot of movies set here. It makes sense that so many movies are set in Los Angeles because they used to film a lot of movies here. Yes, I said used to. I say that because practically no one films in Los Angeles anymore. The tax breaks are much better in other states, Canada, and especially overseas, which is why so many movies are shot in countries nowadays. But not this movie, which is another reason why this movie was so fun for me to watch as a new Los Angelean (is that the right term?) Since I've seen my fair share of movies I've been to my fair share of movie locations, purely out of coincidence. Sure, I've sought some out (a family trip to Chicago a few years back was spent recreating Ferris Bueller's Day Off) but most of the time it happens by chance when I recognize it.
The coolest time this happened before seeing One of Them Days was in the Patriot Games scenes at the Naval Academy in downtown Annapolis. It's hard to beat a movie being shot that close to where you grew up. The only thing that gives it a run for its money is when a scene in a movie is right down the street from where you live currently, which is what happened in One of Them Days. This is only cool to me, but I'm gonna write about it anyway. The opening scene of this movie takes place at Norm's Diner on La Cienega Blvd, which is something I know because I walk by that Norm’s ALL OF THE TIME. It’s a 5-minute walk from my apartment.
I saw this movie at 4:30 pm on a Friday, by myself, in a theater that had a surprising amount of people in it, and I turned into the Leo meme when Norm’s came up on screen:
I started looking around the theater to see if anyone else was noticing how close that was to my apartment like anyone else knew who the hell I was or where I lived. Stuff like this grounds movies in real life. When a movie is set in a location it very rarely is shot there. Hell, I don't even know if One of them Days was fully shot in LA, but I know for damn sure that the opening scene was.
I think that’s pretty damn cool.
Ranking the Days of the Week:
Saturday
Friday
Sunday
Thursday
Monday
Wednesday
Tuesday
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: I think they do but maybe I’m Mandela effecting myself.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 3%
No, But Really: This movie was a blast. I was laughing the entire time, Keke Palmer and SZA have amazing chemistry, and I want more movies like this back in theaters. It’s a throwback to comedies from the mid-1990s and early 2000s, so if that’s your genre of choice, this should be right up your alley.
Companion (2025)
AKA: Don’t have sex with robots.
Usually, when I write these blogs I jot down a few ideas for what I can write about for each movie. For Dog Man, I wrote down "Dav Pilkey" and "Captain Underpants." For One of Them Days, I wrote "Norm’s Diner." For Companion, I wrote down...nothing. Nothing came right to mind for what I could write this little blurb about, so you're going to see me think of something in real time.
Alright, got it.
I don't understand people who have relationships with robots. I can kind of understand wanting a companion (didn’t even mean to do that), a friend, or someone to talk to from time to time, but when it comes to everything else that comes with a relationship, you know, the physical stuff, I just don't get it. I mean, I could've pulled the trigger and gone the robot route a while ago now. Seriously,
A while ago.
but I haven't. Call me a romantic for wanting to meet a real-life girl as opposed to one that I program myself. Plus, *does Jerry Seinfeld impression* I've already had ex-girlfriends who think they know everything...why would I want a robot girlfriend who actually does?
*Waits for applause*
I’m sorry you had to read that. I started rewatching Seinfeld the other day so that's the only type of comedy in my brain right now.
Last thing real quick: I'm loving what Jack Quaid is doing. He's in The Boys (great show that I need to catch up on), he's popping up in movies here and there, and he's leading a movie that's coming out in a couple of weeks that I think has some potential called Novacaine. In that, he plays a guy who doesn’t feel any pain. Comedy and action ensue. It could definitely be terrible and flop tremendously, but I've got high hopes for it. He seems like a genuinely great guy, he wears the nepo-baby brand on his sleeve unlike others in the same boat, and I'm excited to see what he does next.
That is all.
AI scares me.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: They do, and in a way I was not expecting.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 1%
No, But Really: I wasn’t sure what to expect from this movie going into it, but I was pleasantly surprised with what it gave me. There are twists and turns that I didn’t see coming which is always fun, and it’s a very unique take on the future of AI/robotics in daily life. I was laughing, I was grossed out, and I was excited, which is something that not every movie accomplishes. Highly recommend it for people who enjoy sci-fi/thrillers with a hint of horror and comedy.
Running It Back
Now I can talk about my rewatches from 2024. I’ll be mixing a couple of them in as I start working on what I’ve been watching in 2025 so far. Let’s fucking go.
Office Space (1999)
AKA: Work sucks.
1999 is widely known as one of the best movie years of all time. Countless timeless classics came out that year from The Matrix to The Sixth Sense to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. But outside of 10 Things I Hate About You, I've rewatched Office Space the most of any movie from that year. I've watched it by myself, with my dad, and with my friends at college, and every time it gets funnier. You know why? Because as you get older, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the inevitable mundanity of life in the working world, and even if you aren't there yet (like me) the jokes feel more real than they did the last time you watched it.
Which brings me back to the last time I watched this movie. I was still at school, having the best year of my life, and my friends and I watched this on a random weeknight. No school work bearing down on us and no early classes to be worried about. The only thing on our minds was what we were going to be doing that weekend. Most of us had had corporate internships by this point (again, not me), so the comedy hit closer to home, but not as close as it could have. To my friends who I watched this with almost a year ago and to anyone who is a newly appointed corporate stooge, please give Office Space a watch and let me know how relatable it is. I'd take my own advice and watch it to compare to my job...
2 quick things before we move on.
1. Jennifer Aniston in this movie. 120 mph fastball right down the middle. That's all.
2. This movie did not hit when it came out in 1999 and I think that's a damn shame. It made under $11 million at the box office, good for 134th place that year, and while it did pretty well with critics, it just didn't make the impact it was probably hoping for. I'm glad that this movie has been reclaimed in the years since and that it's finally starting to get some of the recognition it deserves. The humor may not be for everyone but don't knock it till you've tried it.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: No sir.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: This movie was so underrated when it came out and while I think it’s been somewhat reclaimed, I still don’t think it gets enough credit for how good and how hilarious it is. This movie is very relatable for anyone in the workforce, but, honestly, you’ll find this relatable if you’ve ever been bored with school, a job, etc. It’s 90 minutes, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, and while this movie is very 1990s, I think the humor is pretty timeless and can be translated to the 2020s just as easily. I highly recommend it.
The Hangover (2009)
AKA: Vegas is the worst/best place on Earth.
Similar to Office Space, I've just seen this movie a bunch; once in 2018, twice in 2019, and once last year. And that doesn't count the times I probably saw it before 2018. It's firmly in the Top 10 for 2000s comedies and might even be on the Mount Rushmore in my eyes. Unfortunately, I've already talked about my experiences in Vegas in previous blogs or else I'd use this space to discuss them. In blogs past I would have written about a time I was deathly hungover in this section. Unfortunately, I am now an adult who is looking for a job and my legal counsel (the partners at Mom & Dad Law Firm) has informed me that I should maybe keep these stories to myself for the time being. So I guess I'll just use this section to give some quick hits:
Zach Galifinakis (definitely didn't spell that correctly) is hysterical in this movie. From what I can tell, this is his first "real" part in a movie, and he knocks it out of the fucking park.
There are two sequels to this movie that I have not seen and choose not to acknowledge. I've heard terrible things about them and I choose to let the original live on unscathed.
The guy who directed this and Old School also directed Joker. Mankind contain multitudes.
The baby was everywhere after this movie came out. I remember being in elementary school (this movie came out when I was in first grade) and seeing Halloween costumes with baby dolls in sunglasses every year. What I saw the most though, were shirts like this:
I love Bradley Cooper in this movie. In the year 2025, he wouldn't be in this movie and I like seeing him in roles that are not actively Oscar-baiting.
This is also Ken Jeong's breakout movie role and he does it in a very unforgettable way. Now I see him in ads every weekend when I watch football because he is a judge on The Masked Singer which is apparently a show that people actually watch.
The wedding band from this movie is called the Dan Band. They also make an appearance in Old School (also directed by Todd Phillips). They're in the movie for 66 seconds at the very end and almost steal the whole damn thing.
Everyone's favorite fun fact is that the digital camera photos that are shown in the credits are real and were taken while they filmed the movie. Very fun stuff.
What else can I say? If you haven't watched this movie already I don't know what you're doing.
Do They Say the Title of the Movie In the Movie: They say hangover a bunch so I’ll give it credit.
Chance My Dad Cries While Watching This: 0%
No, But Really: I shouldn’t need to tell you this, but you should watch this movie. It’s one of the best comedies of the 21st century, full stop. I haven’t seen the sequels (and don’t plan on it because I’ve heard they’re terrible) and I choose to view this as a standalone movie. Everyone who has drunk has had a bad hangover, and while it probably wasn’t as bad as the one they have in this movie, everyone can relate. There’s not much else to say. Watch this movie if you want a laugh.
-Cat sitting
—Housesitting
—-It was 85 degrees and sunny today which is simply too nice of weather for February
——Alex Ovechkin is so good at hockey
